Amazon.com: chip holder

poker chip rack holder

poker chip rack holder - win

What physical DnD products are missing?

I have received an assignment in my manufacturing class to create a specialized product and thus a business out of it. I knew immediately I wanted to do something related to DnD, and what better place to get inspiration than the desired audience?
Things like specialized tables, dice towers/boxes, or minis are what I’m thinking of, what am I missing?
Anything that can be made in a woods or metals shop is fair game
submitted by Slimpickis_ to DnD [link] [comments]

[PI] You owe the Devil, your fairy godmother, five witches and a dog your soul for various reasons and now they have all come to collect at the same time.

Original Prompt here.

Thomas had made plenty of bad decisions in his life. He was well aware of it, and most days he was able to accept his situation with a rueful laugh and a shrug. A majority of those bad decisions had left him with a variety of health problems, a penchant for crème brulee vape juice, and a mountain of debt.
But he was 86 years old, and he decided enough was enough. He hadn’t had a terrible life, somehow. He had friends at the nursing home (most of whom were senile), a good caretaker (who thought overcooked rice was still edible), grandkids (who hated him), and a girlfriend (who had introduced him to the concept of flavored vape and sneaked him pods from her kids’ stash).
Yes, enough was enough. It had been a good run. Thomas painstakingly raised himself from his wheelchair, taking care to hold onto the rails next to his bed, and settled down in his overstuffed chair to contemplate death. He figured it would hurt, but it didn’t bother him. Life had been quite painful on its own.
Just as Thomas was immersing himself in a pleasantly morbid mindset, the door to his room banged open.
“I can still hear, you know,” he grumbled without opening his eyes. “Is something wrong-”
“Thomas Fletcher!” a voice screamed shrilly from the door. “I have come to collect what is owed to me! You will surrender the necessary payment now, at the moment of your demise!”
“Don’t you people usually call the bank for that?” Thomas mumbled. “My daughter Megan is the executor of my estate; you’ll have to talk to her if there’s something off.”
“Look at me when I am speaking to you!” the voice railed. “You address Winnifred Beaumont, Grand Sorceress of the High Council! I have your contract right here-” parchment rustled angrily- “that clearly states I am owed one human soul, signed by the holder! That means you,” the witch added quickly.
Thomas grudgingly pried his eyes open and blinked at the short squat black-clad woman wearing an oversized pointy hat. “I think you’ve got the wrong person...”
“No I most certainly do not!” Winnifred bellowed. “Thomas Fletcher, of 1319 Birch Hill Street? Residing in Las Vegas, Nevada at the time of the signing?”
He grabbed his glasses, peered more closely at the contract, and sighed. It was not mistaken. He recognized his own drunken scrawl at the bottom. “Oh right. You were offering me some free poker chips.”
“Precisely!” Winnifred barked. “Five additional racks for no charge, only the soul contract. I would like to get this over with quickly, I’m a busy witch and haven’t got all day.”
Thomas nodded. “That’s fair.”
Winnifred dragged one of her necklaces over her head, a thick gold chain with an amethyst tear pendant, and pointed a short knobby finger at his heart. “Hold still dearie, this should only take-”
BANG.
A cloud of white smoke enveloped Winnifred, flinging her aside. Thomas ducked as the necklace flew over his head and clattered into the corner.
“UNDERHANDED, USURPING, LYING, SNEAKING, BACKSTABBING UGLY TOAD-”
A second woman strode regally out of the smoke, bootheels ringing on the linoleum floor. She stretched out a ringed hand towards the fallen Winnifred and the witch rose into the air, clutching her throat. “Thought you’d get here before the rest of us? Snatch this soul away before we even caught word that he was dying?”
Winnifred made an assortment of affirmative gagging sounds.
“Think again!” she roared, and Winnifred sailed through the air once more, leaving a witch-shaped hole in the drywall.
Thomas took it all in with a minimum of shock. People hallucinated before dying all the time. At least this was entertaining. And he couldn’t deny that the second witch was quite easy on the eyes.
“Oh hello Mr. Fletcher,” she said briefly. “I’m Keira Pattison, Grand Sorceress of the High Council. The real Grand Sorceress,” she added, glaring at the feebly moaning Winnifred. “That one seems to think she’s won the seat, but it’s another one of her lies as usual… Well, I’m sure you understand that you have signed a soul contract?”
“Another one?” Thomas asked.
“This is a valid one,” Keira assured him. “I believe you were residing in Montgomery, Alabama at the time of signing?”
More memories came flooding back. He suddenly remembered where he had seen Keira Pattison before. “Right, you were that bank advisor I went to for the business loan.”
“Indeed- $500,000 and five years of guaranteed success in exchange for the soul contract. How did that pan out, by the way?”
“It was all right,” Thomas said wistfully. “Made good money and then sold it to some bozo who ran it into the ground. But it wasn’t my problem by the time it started failing, so I just moved to California and didn’t look back.”
“How very witch-like of you,” Keira chuckled. “About that soul then. I do hope you’ve enjoyed your time on Earth, Mr. Fletcher.” The necklace rose from the corner into her hand. “Eyes closed and hold still.”
He did as requested, taking what he thought could be his last breath, but a horrible smell caught in his throat. His eyes snapped open. “Do you smell something funny?”
Keira coughed vigorously. “I do… oh, Hecate, it’s a…”
Her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed in a faint at his feet.
“That’s right, stay down,” someone cackled from the hallway. “Sweetie, could I trouble you to look away for a moment?”
Thomas’ eyes were watering so badly from the stench that he couldn’t see if he tried. “I’m as good as blind out here.”
A disgusting squelching sound oozed through the doorway. Dozens of nebulous limbs dragged the slimy green mass upright into a humanoid form. “Hello Tommy-boy.”
Thomas blinked. Only one person at the nursing home called him that. “Deborah?”
“Don’t like me much now, do ya?” His girlfriend, or Thomas supposed, his ex-girlfriend’s silhouette blurred and resolved into the familiar white-haired shape, but pure malice glittered in the green eyes. “Keepin’ tabs on you hasn’t been easy. But then I heard all the yelling and somebody got chucked through a wall, right into my prunes! The nerve!”
“Oh yeah, I think her name was Winnifred or something,” Thomas said weakly. “Barged in saying she had a soul contract on me.”
Deborah grinned, revealing a green maw with quadruple rows of pointy teeth. “Busy boy. Just so happens, I got one too.” More limbs unrolled a third roll of parchment. “Your John Hancock, right here. Coughed up that soul in exchange for your kids’ college funds. Noble, but nobility don’t count for much after death.”
“Nothing matters now, does it?” Thomas asked. “Alright, get on with it already.”
“Gimme that…” Deborah pried the amethyst necklace away from the unconscious Keira. “Now let’s do this right and proper.”
She pointed twenty-five green fingers at his heart. “So long, Tommy-boy.”
“Cheers Deb,” Thomas said sleepily. “Thanks for the vapes.”
A pale purple thread of mist rose from his chest, seeking the great amethyst dangling from the gold chain. Thomas felt a chill settle over his limbs, starting at his feet and creeping upwards towards his innards. The stone began to glow- softly at first, intensifying by the second.
“Oh it was you!” another voice shrieked. “Crawl back into your dumpster, you trashy little SKANK!”
Rays of pink light stabbed into Deborah’s form like spears, withering and burning the green flesh wherever they touched. The creature let out a howl of agony and recoiled.
CRAWL LIKE THE PATHETIC SLUG YOU ARE! CRAWL!
“Forgive!” Deborah wailed. “No more! Please!”
Thomas gave up on trying to figure out what was real and what was not. The smell and the very real hole in the drywall seemed to have ruled out hallucinations, but he knew better than to interfere in matters over which he had no control.
“Thomas,” the pink light said sternly. “I truly thought I raised you better than this.”
“Don’t know who you are, but I promise you, none of this is your fault.” It was a feminine voice, with a matronly flutter, he thought. “I’m plenty aware I’ve messed up.”
“After all these years, this is how you repay me? Signing your SOUL away to witches you don’t even know? Sleeping with THAT?”
“Looks aren’t a priority for me,” Thomas said, and it was true. “My vision’s damn near gone, and with the lights off, you can’t even tell.”
Urghhh!” The light shuddered in disgust so hard that it assumed a human form. “It’s Anastasia, Thomas. I’m taking you home right this instant, away from all these… loose women.”
“Anna?” Thomas recognized his caretaker in her home uniform immediately. “What the hell is going on here?”
“Who are you calling loose?” Winnifred croaked from the next room. “Say it to my face, ya sparkly bi-”
Anastasia pointed an imperious finger in her direction. An enormous pink cloud descended over the plump witch, muffling her voice. “Your fairy godmother is taking you somewhere much safer than this, and then we’ll do the soul extraction in a humane and comfortable fashion. Not like these crude, rude, old bats.”
“Still on about the soul?” Thomas was beginning to get tired of the routine. “Jeez.”
“Well, if you’d kept track of who actually owned it, we wouldn’t be in this position right now,” Anastasia said primly. She summoned a towel out of thin air and began wiping Deborah’s slime off of the arm of Thomas’ chair. “As it stands, that soul is now owed to me due to your failure to stay out of trouble despite all of my guidance. There. Now let’s be away from here before anyone else shows up.”
“Forgetting someone?”
A smooth male voice seemed to emanate from every single surface in the room. Winnifred, Keira, Deborah, and Anastasia all froze.
“I believe I have the sole claim to Mr. Thomas Fletcher’s soul… and all of your claims are rendered illegitimate if I have understood this correctly.”
“The Dark Lord,” Anastasia whimpered. “Oh Thomas, you didn’t.”
“What, Voldemort?” Thomas grumbled. “I know damn well I didn’t hand my soul to J.K. Rowling.”
Someone stepped cleanly out of the wall. There were no pops, or bangs, or clouds of smoke, just a silent presence that had not been there before. It was a tall thin man, but his face was out of focus, somehow, or just plain wrong. He seemed to be smiling, scowling, baring his teeth, and staring neutrally all at once.
“Mr. Fletcher, as a representative of the denizens of Hell, I’d like to extend our warm welcome for you to join our little entourage,” the man said. He didn’t sound angry or upset. “I have a soul contract here that predates the others that have been presented today; I believe this was signed by your mother?”
“It requires the signature of the soul holder,” said Winnifred stubbornly. “As you are aware, Lord Satan, the signature of the mother is null and void-”
“Ordinarily you would be correct, but this situation unfortunately falls under ‘defiance of acts of God,’ which states the signature of a blood relative is valid if the soul holder is incapacitated or otherwise incapable of signing.” Satan unfurled a fifth scroll. “At the age of 3, Mr. Fletcher was struck by a falling tree branch. The wound would have been fatal had I not intervened at his mother’s behest.”
“Oh,” Keira grumbled. “His mother…”
“Well this sucks!” Winnifred yelled. “I could be somewhere else right now!”
Deborah promptly rounded on her. “Then GO, you big fat toad!”
“Don’t you call me a toad, you stupid slime heap!” A whip of lightning flashed from Winnifred’s hand, but it sank into the greenish puddle without effect. “At least I bathe more than once a year!”
“We’d never know it by looking at you,” Anastasia sneered.
“Ladies, ladies,” Satan said patiently. “Perhaps you’d consider taking this outside?”
NO!” they all shouted at once.
“I think I’ve already made myself clear-”
Another blast like a cannon sent the entire group reeling. Thomas could only shield his face with his hands as a flash of red light blinded his already weak vision.
When his eyes cleared, he almost gagged at the sight. It seemed to be at least two women, but their bodies had been fused and twisted somehow, leaving them a single mass of twisted limbs and facial features that looked like something Dali or Picasso might have sculpted. A dented, scarred blob of a head had four eyes of varying sizes, one overlarge mouth with two tongues, and a bifurcated nose with four nostrils. Next to the fleshy mass, a large well-groomed yellow Labrador stood at attention.
“Eww!” Keira shrieked. “What happened to you, ugly?”
We have come far,” two voices whispered. “We must have the soul. The last soul that will break our curse.
Two minds. One mind. No silence. No peace,” one of them intoned. “We are one who wishes to be two.”
The Lab licked their hands sympathetically and both patted his head in perfect synchronization.
There is a problem,” the twin said. “He tells us that he lays claim to you as well.”
“Who… The DOG?” Thomas demanded. “How does a DOG…”
He tells us that you made a promise. Broke a promise. The promise of the thrown ball. The betrayal of the empty hand.
“Sorry, but that means my soul is forfeit?”
“Lying to a dog is a mortal sin,” Satan said warily. “If you’d apologized to him right afterward, it would have been alright, but I think he’s a bit beyond accepting apologies right now.”
Soul. Give us soul and all will be forgiven.”
The Lab barked in agreement. Its eyes blazed with a captivating golden light.
“Ladies, I do feel badly for you, but you’ll have to go elsewhere,” Satan told them. “We’ve got a full house here already.”
No,” one of them hissed. “Will not let go of hope. Not when it is so close at hand.”
“I suppose we’re at a standstill then,” Keira said. “As the Grand Sorceress of the High Council, I would like to propose that Mr. Fletcher decide to whom the soul ought to be given.”
“Except for the fact that the High Council has no jurisdiction over me,” Satan snapped. “I’ve already made my claim quite clear. Your contracts are invalid.”
A lance of purple light flashed from Deborah’s amorphous form, aimed at Thomas. Waves of heat and cold rippled through his body as it brushed his skin, but a black thread coiled snakelike around the light and shattered it like glass.
“Thievery won’t be tolerated in this instance,” Satan began sternly, but his voice was drowned out by Winnifred and Keira pouncing on the slime creature. The Lab barked furiously and dove into the pile with digging paws and snapping teeth. The twins began waving their misshapen hands and chanting a spell that made the air around Thomas hum with power.
By now, he was so confused that he would have willingly coughed up his soul to whoever emerged from the brawl, but a tap on the shoulder made him look up. A relatively unscathed Satan, looking peeved and tired, gestured towards the wall. An archway swirling with black and silver vapor opened with a small hiss. Thomas knew nothing of magic or devilish powers, but he could feel it pulling at him, like a leash had been wrapped around his gut.
“Whenever you’re ready, Mr. Fletcher,” the Devil sighed. “With some alacrity, if you would.”
He nodded and began to struggle to his feet, but a glittering white hex sailed overhead, leaving a scorch mark on the wall. Thomas sat down in a hurry.
“Oh for hell’s sake,” Satan muttered. He began whispering an incantation of his own.
Thomas took off his glasses and cleaned them on an unsullied patch of shirt. Somehow, all the chaos had left him in no hurry to die. When he put the glasses back on, he realized the fight had come to a relative standstill. The Lab and Winnifred were engaged in a furious tug-of-war, both gripping her amethyst necklace by the chain. The stone roiled with energy as if it could sense the war being fought over it.
“Get off! GET OFF!” Winnifred shrieked, but the Lab refused to relinquish his hold. The two strained back and forth as Anastasia grabbed the dog’s neck, but Keira and Deborah hung on to Winnifred.
A clap of thunder made Thomas’ ears ring. The chain tore asunder, sending the amethyst clattering to the floor. All five witches, Anastasia, and Satan lunged for it, but it was the twins who emerged victorious. As they held the pendant aloft, purple light streamed from the stone, bathing them both. Individual limbs emerged from the mass of twisted flesh and the single misshapen head became two.
A hush fell over the crowd. Even Satan looked impressed. Inch by inch, the twins rippled and separated. Two manes of golden hair emerged from the formerly bald scalps, blue eyes became smaller and clearer, and two rosebud mouths closed around their own sets of teeth, revealing a pair of witches so beautiful that they looked almost angelic.
“We… are cured?” one of them whispered.
“We are two. Not one. Silence… blessed silence…” Tears filled their eyes.
A yell broke the shocked silence.
“MY SOULS!” Winnifred shrieked. “THIEVES! CHEATS! GIVE ME BACK MY SOULS!”
She lunged at the twins, who went down like pins under a bowling ball. The pendant flew from their hands and smashed underfoot, an empty shell without the souls it had held.
Satan shook his head disdainfully at the brawl. The shadow doorway still gaped open in the wall beside him. “Mr. Fletcher, if you could step this way please.”
“I’m gonna need my walker,” Thomas said wearily. His head was ringing from all the shouting and magic as the five witches and one fairy battled furiously. “Honestly I was hoping it'd be over by now.”
Satan delicately edged along the wall, dodging errant curses and spells, and returned with Thomas’ collapsible walker. “There you are. I trust you’ll find plenty to keep you occupied down there. I understand you enjoyed gambling a while ago.”
“Mhmm.” Thomas stood up, leaning heavily on the walker. “Well, if that’s all it takes to die, I’m here for it.”
He tried to stand, but realized something was gripping the foot of his walker. The Labrador was latched onto one of the tennis ball cushions, snarling ferociously.
“Oh come on!” Thomas tried to yank the walker free, but only succeeded in falling hard on his face as it was pulled away. The dog scampered off with its prize, tripping the furious Anastasia onto her back. Her foot struck Keira right on the point of the chin, and she fell on top of Winnifred, cowering away from the twins’ combined assault. Deborah seized the walker with eight arms and tried to suck it away, but the dog refused to yield.
“Down!” one of the twins was shouting. “Bad dog! Bad dog- NOOOOOOO!”
Slowly, inexorably, the tangle of witches was being dragged towards the dark portal. The dog’s muffled snarls blended into Winnifred’s stream of curses and hexes, accompanied by Anastasia’s screams and the chanting of the twins. Deborah was trying to anchor herself to the floor, but the portal was stronger than she, and a gruesome ripping sound informed Thomas that she had parted ways with some limbs.
Thomas managed to grab the arm of his chair and push himself to a sitting position. The pull of the portal was negligible now. He supposed it was expending all of its energy dragging five witches, a dog, and a fairy godmother into its depths. When he glanced over at Satan, hoping for answers, the man only shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.
The seven vanished into the black depths and the portal closed at last with a dreadful slurping sound. Eerie silence fell over the room, leaving Thomas and the Devil looking equally confused.
“Well that was certainly something.” Satan produced a pocket square and brushed soot off of his white collar. “In a truly bizarre turn of events… I seem to be owing you a favor, Mr. Fletcher.”
“Me?” Thomas asked. “Why?”
“All those souls, of course! If you hadn’t been so careless with your soul contract signing, there wouldn’t have been such a wild rumpus over your death!” He gave Thomas a toothy smile. “Let me ask you a fair question. Do you truly want to die? Or would you prefer to live, if some of your affairs were set in order for you?”
Thomas sat back and thought very hard. He was sick, estranged from most of his family, and owed quite a lot of money to various people. That was why he had wanted to go. But if all of that was set in order… Besides, his caretaker and girlfriend had already disappeared off to Hell.
“I think I’d want to live,” Thomas said slowly. “It’s just that I’ve really got a mountain of problems here.”
“Well, we can fix that.” Satan counted on his fingers. “Five witch souls, one fairy soul, and the dog seems like a good boy, even though animals don’t have souls… Seven favors, Mr. Fletcher. That’s your good health restored, your debts settled, your family’s goodwill, and I’ll throw in a few years of strong business for whatever endeavor you decide is next on your list.”
Thomas was a bit surprised at the generosity, but he did what he was best at and nodded unquestioningly. “That’s quite kind of you.”
“I’m in a good mood,” Satan said brightly. “Anyhow, you’re free to leave. I’ll be in touch in a few more decades.”
“Wait.” Something wary and crafty seemed to have awoken inside Thomas when the Devil returned his health. His mind was racing in a way it hadn’t moved in years. “You won’t follow me from here? You won’t do anything to sabotage me?”
Satan shook his head and smiled.
“Sometimes it’s best that I don’t intervene at all, Mr. Fletcher,” he said. “Humanity has a hundred times more potential for chaos than anything I could dream up. You’re living proof of that.”
Thomas couldn’t help but agree.
submitted by itsHannahTeresa to WritingPrompts [link] [comments]

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OC Tournament #4: R3M4 - Robbert Chitter vs. M.I.A.

The results are in for Match 2. The winner is…
Corazon, with a score of 63 to Buggy’s 40!
Category Winner Point Totals Comments
Popularity Eugene “Buggy” Baxter 15-25 It was a bit of a back and forth, but Buggy 3-5
Quality Sofia Alicia Romero Perez AKA ‘Corazon’ 23-7 Reasoning
JoJolity Sofia Alicia Romero Perez AKA ‘Corazon’ 25-8 Reasoning
These probably weren’t quite the scores many people were expecting, but after much, much deliberation, Judges ultimately came to these positions. Speaking of unexpected, how about voting on a match where a cute little lizard is incredibly menacing?
Scenario - Los Angeles, California:
The sky over the City of Angels swelled with dark, thunderous clouds as rain poured down in the dead of night. Despite the clouds robbing the streets below of the moon’s bright light, the streetlights did their job well enough to illuminate into even the musty alleyways between the impressive buildings the city had to offer.
It was in one of these alleyways that a small group had gathered, huddled together in the cover that the overhangs provided from the pouring rain.
“So… this is all we got, huh?” chimed in a dark-skinned young man in a black and white tracksuit. He checked his watch, a Rolex he’d acquired a while ago in the Motor City, and shook his head.
“Guess so… anyone who planned on showing up would’ve gotten here by now…” said the man next to him. He wore a ski-suit drastically unfit for the climate they were in, and a pair of goggles around his neck. Despite the tense mood surrounding the group, he still managed to crack a smile. “We can still kick some ass though, right Abraham?”
“We’re gonna have to, Anthony. This is all we’ve got, not even grovelling to Mylo worked, he just laughed his ass off and hung up the phone…” Abraham said, grimacing.
Anthony surveyed the group. Including him, there were 7 people total, a far shot from the amount they had when they were following the orders of ‘Major Minus’. “Ever since that situation in Detroit, numbers have been dwindling… Between that fight hospitalizing a bunch of us, Mylo hospitalizing half of the ones that weren’t already, and even more people quitting after losing their matches… we’re down to 7.”
Anthony wasn’t used to this. Before, the 21 Savages could do just about anything they pleased; in Detroit, they were absolutely carefree. But now, it felt like there was a constant weight on his shoulders, especially since he’d become the de facto leader. "...But, we can't let that get us down regardless! We're in for a hell of a prize here; ever since those Black Beetles bastards rolled onto our turf and started slinging that XPLICIT garbage, it's been getting harder to keep our control… but!"
Anthony turned to Abraham, giving a solid pat on the back. "Tell em what you found out, buddy."
Abraham leaned in closer, everyone else in the group doing so in turn. In a hushed voice, he spoke. "Word on the street is… XPLICIT makes your Stand stronger somehow… I heard some of those Black Beetles fuckers talking about it… With that kinda boost, who knows what we'd be able to do? The 21 Savages would be unstoppable!"
Anthony grinned from ear to ear, looking quite maniacal. "I think you can guess why we called you all the way here… there's a warehouse nearby, one that those Beetle Bastards are using to run their shit. We get in their and kick their asses? We get that XPLICIT. And then, we're unstoppable."
There was an uproar from the small crowd, hooting and hollering at the prospect of power. Anthony basked in it. Is this what it's like to lead? He pumped his first in the air, rallying his allies.
"LET'S GET GOING AND SQUASH SOME FUCKIN' BUGS! WHO ARE WE?"
"21 SAVAGES!"
"WHAT ARE WE?"
"THE STRONGEST OF THE STRONG! THE BRUTEST OF THE BRUTES! WITHOUT HESITATION AND WITHOUT MERCY"
"AND WHO CAN TELL US WHAT THE FUCK TO DO?"
"NOBODY!"
In a sea of cheers and rebellious cries, they ran out of the alleyway, the pouring rain no hindrance to their ultimate goal. They were going to war.
It was 1:17 AM. M.I.A. walked the bustling L.A. streets, a spring in her step despite the anonymity of the lonely streets and the late night sky. There may have been something cliche about the scene—the dollar-store fedora gracing her head, the rain, the fact that she was working alone this time—but that couldn’t stop her confidence.
After all, she had proven herself more than capable of unraveling the YMCA’s first mystery! The user of 「No Wild Church」 who had unwittingly terrorized the Mexican suburb was under the influence of XPLICIT, a drug the team had learned more and more about as they continued their run in Urban Uprising. Mysteries continued to swirl around the ARG, but M.I.A. took personal interest in investigating the drug.
The rain continued to pour, but a flock of seven, paper birds, unseen by most of the pedestrians, chirped and hopped happily on her latest hat, the water sliding off their wings and away from M.I.A. herself. Meanwhile, 「Angel's Thesis」 loomed over them, dutifully looking out through the rain at their destination, a warehouse that she discovered was where the drug was being stockpiled.
She reassured herself with a determined nod as she hurried along, by herself but not truly alone. YMCA could continue to focus it and its relatively lighter-hearted games. Her teammates would carry their golden banner forward, but she would have some darker work to do before she could rejoin them. M.I.A. smirked. Not that she couldn’t handle it.
A few days ago...
Six people sat around a table, completely relaxed and going through idle conversation over a game of Poker. A large man looked at the game played by four other members, as a dark-skinned women leaned on his shoulder to explain the rules. He blankly nodded at her explanations, and looked at the five cards on the table: 4 of Hearts, 2 of Clubs, Queen of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and 7 of Diamonds.
A slim, pretty boy of a man calmly raised, fairly secure in his choice and his cards down on the table. “This’ll all pay off,” he thought to himself. “They won’t know I have an Ace in my hand since I didn’t raise last turn.”
A shaven, point-nosed man quickly looked at his cards and put them back down on the table. He reached for the chips to meet the raise, but quickly looked back at his cards again, a slight brow of sweat as he glanced over toward the five cards in the center. The sharp nosed man deliberated before he pushed his chips over. “If they have an Ace or the Queen of Spade, they beat me, but they haven’t been raising until now so it’s probably either a 7 or nothing. Easy does it you’ve got this in the bag.”
A delinquent-looking man quickly passed, and pushed his cards forward in resignation. “I needed another Heart, I could have had a Flush damn it.” Right after, a punkish girl grinned wickedly as she looked at her cards and met the raise. “Come on, come to mama!”
And now was the moment of truth, the pretty boy flipped: Ace of Spades and King of Hearts, a pair of Aces. This game was as good as his, he thought to himself, further fueled by the shaven man’s sigh of resignation as he showed his Queen of Diamonds and a 5 of Diamonds. That moment didn’t last long as the punk girl cackled, slamming down her two cards: 7 of Hearts and 2 of Spades. Win with a Pair of 2s and a Pair of 7s.
“So did you get all that?” the dark skinned lady asked the large man, as the punk girl racked in the chips.
“Uh...” He idly glanced around the room, eventually looking out the window and peering over the rest of the warehouse, crates sealed and piled as high as they could survey. He eventually turned back to the lady. “Yeah. Sure.”
The lady excitedly clasped her hands together and went over to the table, picking up the cards to reshuffle the deck as the players cabbitzed and sulked at their loss. She turned back to the large man, pulling out seats for the two of them. “Oh, how about we all play the next round?”
The man rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, still looking around the room. “Uh...uh....” Suddenly, a faint click could be heard. Relief briefly flashed across his face. “Looks like the meeting’s about to start.” Indeed, the door opened, and the seventh member entered the room...
Now...
Chul Ahn moved through the hazy streets of Los Angeles, mind heavy with contemplation and umbrella over his head. He had departed the ARG with little fanfare: it had simply not been for him. He had other, more important obligations. Business of his own and a family who meant the world to him.
Sidestepping a few people who loitered in front of a storefront, he found his mind drifting off to the Sweetwater Visitors. An odd bunch, to be certain, but despite their kindness to him, he did not belong amongst them. While he took pride in the fact that Nico’s charisma had earned him a spot in the following round, he did not have any reason to stay after his elimination.
One night, he had packed his belongings from their various places in the church and had written a small letter thanking Sweetwater for their kindness and wishing them luck in future endeavours. He did not offer a reason for his departure until the very end of the letter: “I’m a father to a lovely girl, and I need to be there for her.”
Yet, the ex-Yakuza member still had his thumb on the pulse of the city’s seedy underbelly. He had heard whisperings of a drug, rumours exchanged between members of society’s underbelly. It drove you crazy, made you go berserk, sometimes it even killed you, but Chul had heard one consistent thing; the high was amazing. What was less than amazing was the collateral. A Stand user took a dose and his ability went berserk, leading to everyone in the town committing suicide.
He’d had run-ins with similar drugs in the past. They caused infighting and death, were often horrifically addictive, and did nothing short of kill a person from the inside out. He frowned at the mortality they brought and the monsters who took no issue with dealing drugs to children for mere lucre. He couldn’t let Soo live in a world where this horror existed. The very idea that she could be exposed to it made his skin crawl, made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, made his stomach churn. Continuing his walk through the city, he steeled himself for one last dive into that past life.
He would do everything in his power to keep it from his daughter.
Then...
The six sat at the conference table, standing at its front was the seventh, a dark skinned man wearing a fedora with a beetle horn on it. “First off, role call.” He spoke with an even tone, keeping his team on task. “Johnny Cash.”
“Here.” The pretty boy, ran a pocket comb through his hair as he was called.
“Fort Minor,” The fedora man called out. “Present,” the point-nosed man replied dryly.
“Coolio, Nikita.” Still reclining in their chairs, the delinquent and the punk raised their hands in order. “Aye.”
“Grand.” A beat passed, no response. The man in the fedora coughed, getting the large man’s attention. “Ahem, Baby Grand!”
“Oh sorry, Dead Kings.” Snapped from his daydream, the large man nodded. “I’m here, I’m here.”
“And Blackbird.”
“I’m here,” the dark skinned lady chirped, as the man in the fedora, Dead Kings, winded down and moved to sit down at the seat in front of them.
“And with that out of the way let’s get to business.” Dead brought out a folder from his coat. “We all already know Paracadute is loose, so keep an eye out for him.” The rest of the group remained silent as he continued, “We have also heard of some potential suspicious activity: people have been looking more into us and our warehouses recently asking about us.” Dead tapped the beetle horn on his fedora before continuing.
“We’re going on standby: we are all going to be staked out here for the next few nights.” A quiet murmur went through the room, this had happened a few times before, but it always meant that something major was about to hit. “I hope you all know what this means right?”
Minor raised his hand. “Sta..Stand users right?” Even when they were prepared, the constant, nigh unpredictable threat to their livelihoods always was a hassle to manage.
Dead nodded, “Carter and Lennon are trusting us to handle this, and we owe it to them to do so.” He stood up and leaned forward, his tone hushed and conspiratorial. “Now, we’re not going to let anybody just waltz in here and ruin our hard work. We got this far because we’re a team who can deal with anything the world throws at us. We’ll manage it as usual, understood?” The members nodded solemnly. There was too much on the line for them to fail here.
“We’ve got a lot of work to do: Cash and Minor, you two are on the main entrance and the security room. Coolio and Nikita will be patrolling the floor. Blackbird, Grand and I will be setting up our sleeping arrangements and rations for the night. You have your assignments; proceed.”
As they filed out to their respective roles, Dead started a long stretch and a sigh of relief. “Good work, Dead,” Blackbird chirped as she guided Baby Grand to get the sleeping bags from the back room.
“Thanks, sis,” Dead responded, briefly rolling out his shoulders and stretching before getting up to help the other two. The group of Black Beetles had a long few days ahead of them.
Now...
However impressive the building known as The Tower of Terra may be, the team itself had seen better days. The remaining contestants had flown down to South America for sight-seeing and Tag winning, but their attempts at the latter were less successful. Robbert barely escaped being forced into elimination, and although Colorado and Mars’s loss had lit a fire underneath Garland’s feet, even he barely eked out a tie to advance to this round. A bit of time to themselves was to be expected; Tags could be won another day.
But for now Robbert found himself in Los Angeles on a rainy night, having just met a contact. Taking up a bit of extra work helped him keep his mind off the ARG, the last outing against Milo and meet up with Mylo. Everything that has transpired had him wondering. The mysteries of Urban Uprising loomed like the storm clouds ahead, but Robbert couldn’t help but wonder if he could answer them. The surge of confidence that had accompanied the appearance of 「Wildflower」’s ACT 2 had faded; he was still just one Stand user of the hundreds.
As Robbert walked down the street, he noticed a small troop of people gathering just out of sight. From their hoodies, he could recognize them as the 21 Savages, the team that Colorado had run into months ago. Trying to figure out why the team would be gathered here, he brought out his phone. No indication of a match in progress.
Robbert frowned, but before he could make further guesses, the group took off into the exporting lot. Mulling over his options, Robbert ultimately decided to pursue them. Something was about to happen, something major.
Chul went to investigate, gathering clues through the sources he had. His main lead was an unassuming warehouse, the windows boarded up, metal grates coated in light rust, and no problem for his ability to get through. Chul brushed off his suit’s lapel, his body pressed against the warehouse’s walls as he slunk around, “An entrance shouldn’t be too difficult to find.”
Clouds loomed low overhead, smeared across the sky, and threatening the ground below with thunder and lightning. There was already a heavy drizzle, something Chul was grateful for, as the smattering of the droplets onto the metal roof did well to mask his footsteps. Poking around further, he discovered an unboarded, unintended entrance to the warehouse, just large enough for him to crawl through.
He pried open the window, making sure he wouldn’t leave any evidence or to use his abilities just yet. There was still little to no clue where to start, but he had all night if he played his cards right. The rain was a double edged sword, drowning out his actions, but also those of others. Chul sneaked further and further into the warehouse, slow but steady, as he peeked from behind for any sort of late night security or if his goal would be anywhere nearby.
Nothing.
His breathing stayed steady, his heart rate settling.
Something, however, knew he was here. It slinked in the shadows, tailed him, watched from the rafters, atop a stack of boxes, from an empty crate...
Chul felt he was getting closer. He came to what appeared to be a dead end, but he knew far better: the marked walls and crates gave away the area as a designated point of some sort. All was well, everything was going smoothly. “This was too convenient wasn’t it?” An easy to open window, no issues with any security, and the designated area being at a dead end. He quickly turned around and caught a shadowy figure swing at him with an overhead strike with a crowbar.
A trap, it couldn’t have been said any clearer. Chul dove to the side, as 「Candyman」 shimmered into existence and struck back. The figure tried to weave back, but the Stand was too fast, continuing the pressure and downing the figure with a series of quick stabs to its stomach. The crowbar clattered to the ground as the figure dropped to the ground and evaporated into smoke.
Smoke that was filling the warehouse, flowing into the shadows that lined the warehouse. As Chul drew his own knives, 「Candyman」 returned his side, watching his back. Scanning the area around them, they readied themselves for the oncoming onslaught. The trap was just the beginning.
After a few minutes, Robbert found himself looking at a warehouse lot. The 21 Savages seemed to be prepared to break their way into the yard. A memory flashed to mind: ‘The Black Beetles,’ a group that Mylo had mentioned before. “They’re not seriously going to attack the front gates, right?” Indeed, the 21 Savages confirmed his worry, breaking open the gate and charging right.
But where was their leader? Robbert looked around the area for some sign of Mylo Xyloto. Eventually he barely found one, squinting into a shadowy alley. One of the rafters looked off from the others, and he noticed that it was covered in spray paint. On the outer edge of the building sat a familiar figure in rollerblades, silently laughing to himself.
“That damn bastard… Not even helping his team, just like Colorado said,” Robbert muttered, cracking his knuckles. “Guess it’s my turn to step in.”
But as Robbert turned back to face the lot, he paused. The Savages’ charge was broken by a mass of shadowy, nondescript figures who quickly outnumbered them. However powerful the Savages and their Stands may have been, they were grossly outnumbered, and even more so outmatched. What the throng of shadows lacked in abilities, they more than made up for in coordination, easily dismantling the disorganized intruders before delivering a brutal counterattack.
This isn’t a gang fight, but a beat down. Robbert looked on, there was no chance they were going to win from how they were fighting. He tensed up. Even if this wasn’t his problem, he couldn’t just stand there and watch it happen. After a moment of hesitation, Robbert rushed towards the warehouse.
Like her fellow Urban Uprising competitor, M.I.A. came across the fight in progress, having tracked XPLICIT back to this warehouse primarily through hearsay. If her intel was correct, then it belonged to the Black Beetles, who were actively producing and distributing it.
What she saw upon reaching her destination surprised her: a group of seven delinquents in various forms of weather-inappropriate attire being overwhelmed by a group of shadowy figures. She ran in to intervene, but out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of another shadow, which she didn’t register as a threat until it would have been too late.
However, the 「Paper Wings」 were more perceptive. Alerted by one of the pieces of paper, 「Angel’s Thesis」 instantly lashed out, impaling a dark figure on its fist.
M.I.A. turned to inspect her would-be assailant and watched as the figure melted back into shadow around her Stand. It had to be a Stand itself—probably belonging to the Black Beetles’ guards—and what the delinquents were currently losing to was probably more of the same. M.I.A. had already been drawn to by her investigation: with a Stand like this guarding it, there had to be something worth hiding here.
She advanced closer to her destination, keeping an eye out for more shadow people, and saw that someone else was doing the same: a man in a gardener’s outfit, fitting the description Milo had given of his opponent in Guatemala. He was her opponent in the ARG, but this wasn’t a game, this was a real threat. Robbert caught M.I.A. looking at him, the woman who defeated Professor Bernal at Louisville. But despite their histories, it was clear to both that each of them had the same idea on their minds: they might be enemies in Urban Uprising, but right now they had bigger fish to fry.
“「Candyman」!” Chul rushed at the nondescript figures trying to box him in. His Stand zipped a few meters ahead of him toward the mob that seemed to be readying themselves. Chul threw from his suit pocket handfuls of Mentos at the floor the figures were standing on as 「Candyman」 touched the floor turning it into soda. The result was near instantaneous: a large explosion to blast aside the figures long enough for Chul to make it to the center of all the warehouse aisles.
Many wielding crowbars, more figures seemed to block the way, but this situation would be fine, all Chul had to do was cut a path through one side and keep moving. As long as he could cut a path he could escape for now. 「Candyman」 then touched the two side paths, turning both sides into large messes of chewed gum as he ran to meet his attackers from the front.
Chul and his Stand moved with a methodical efficiency that betrayed years of experience. 「Candyman」 took the lead against the first crowbar attack. The figure swung, but the Stand grabbed it, wrestling it out of the figure’s hand, turning it into hard chocolate, and tossing it to Chul. Another figure ran up to deliver a punch, but 「Candyman」 easily blocked with its other elbow.
Meanwhile, Chul snapped the chocolate crowbar in half before turning it back to normal. In one swift motion, he shoved one shadow into the sticky mass of gum and stabbed another with his makeshift shiv. The attack proved to be a success as the shadow dissipated on hit. Bolstered by his success and wasting no movement, Chul threw the crowbar at another attacker, piercing its skull and causing it to dissipate as well. Uninterested in celebrating, Chul kept moving, he had to keep moving.
Indeed, the corridor in Chul’s path filled with six more shadows. Fortunately he made light work of these as well. Turning the handles of his knives into taffy, Chul lashed out at the figures. The blades spinning, whirling, and glinting in the dim light, the figures were swiftly cut down in quick succession as 「Candyman」's own strikes created openings for Chul to use to devastating effect.
Chul stepped out of the aisle, the defeated figures dissolving into smoke and shadow behind him. He only afforded himself a quick check of his equipment and stamina—having maintained most of both—and a swivel of the head to get his bearings and decide on his path out. He was out of the aisle now, but—
BANG!
A shot rang out and whizzed past his ear. Even more figures were blocking the entrance, one of them even had a pistol on them. This wasn’t going to be easy as the last few. Another figure charged at Chul and 「Candyman」. As 「Candyman」 charged to meet his punch with his own something strange happened. Another set of arms came out of the torso of the figure and grabbed both of his Stand’s arms...no, wait, there was another one inside the first!?
There were two overlapping shadows facing off against his Stand. Chul grabbed another handful of Mentos, but another shot rang out, forcing him to get back behind cover. His Stand was strong enough to take the hits of the figures, but even more would be on their way. Another fig—pair of overlapping figures quickly charged him behind his cover. Chul swung with his taffy-handled knives, but they were caught and ripped aside by the figures before he was quickly tackled and pinned.
“This was all a set-up. They were testing my Stand’s ability to prepare for this final attack.” Chul had been outplayed from the moment he entered the warehouse and into their trap. The two figures restrained his arms, chest and legs, their combined weight and ability to phase past each other gave them the perfect leverage to keep him pinned.
There was nothing more he could do. A second wave of figures crashed down onto him, the masses pinning him against the floor, his body in agony. Yet, aside from biting his tongue, he didn’t cry, didn’t yell, didn’t show any sign of weakness or desperation.
Instead, he thought for a moment of Soo, and her precious smiling face. The thought warmed his soul, even as a more proper figure of a man looked over him and pressed a gunbarrel against Chul’s forehead.
“You made quite a gamble coming here.” The holder of the gun—a man in a fedora—remarked. Perhaps the leader of the mob, nothing about the man betrayed the ferocity of the shadows. His tone, his dress, his expression were flat and dispassionate. As if this all were simply ‘business’ to him. Chul Ahn grinned up at him, his teeth red as if they were stained with syrup.
“Maybe I did.” He spat blood up at the man. “But I bet I’ll see you in hell.”
Location: A warehouse lot in Downtown LA. The area is 100 meters by 100 meters with tiles that are 5 by 5 meters. The players start in their respective team colored circles. The 21 Savages are the 7 magenta circles and the 「m.A.A.d city」 units are in grey. The light blue rectangles are shipping containers housing reinforcements, miscellaneous warehouse goods in crates, and crowbars. The orange rectangles are cars, the green rectangles are dumpsters, and the gold ovals are light fixtures. The ground is old asphalt, some cracks are fairly obvious and there are some weeds sprouting out at some parts all around the map.
There are currently 63 「m.A.A.d city」 units on the map, 42 in the open and 21 in containers. When half of the active 42 units are defeated, 14 more will enter from the east of the map. The 21 units in the containers will also come out at that time but will guard the goods inside their containers until then. All 35 reinforcements will all be armed with crowbars, while the 42 currently fighting are unarmed, for 77 units in total.
The units are primarily focused on the 21 Savages at the start of the match, but some are turned around and waiting to see what the players will do. Once the players move close enough to get into CQC or start attacking, units will shift their focus onto them depending on how threatening they seem. The Savages appreciate your help, but they are too proud and/or stubborn to listen to any direct orders you might try to give them. The rain has currently subsided into a light drizzle, and has no effect on the match conditions.
Goal: Defeat the forces of 「m.A.A.d city」! Whoever directly defeats more units will be the winner for this match.
Additional Information:
Stand Users: Baby Grand, Blackbird, Dead Kings, Johnny Cash, Fort Minor, Nikita, Coolio (Shoutouts to u/tombola20 for the art!)
Occupation: Operatives of the Black Beetles
User Stats:
Comradery: 3 (They have each other’s backs and have well practiced coordination. This also helps them do their team attacks with their stand)
Gang Fighting: 4 (They know how to fight in large numbers and keep each other well protected. They will use every simple fighting technique at their disposal to their maximum effect in a fight and all know how to shoot a gun, but that second part won’t matter for this match)
Stand Name: 「m.A.A.d city」
Stand Type: Shared, Bound
Stand Ability: 「Shadow Mafia」 - 「m.A.A.d city」 allows its users to create and control gangs of shadowy figures from their own shadows. The figures themselves aren’t too special, being able to be damaged by physical sources and not particularly strong or fast.
That is not to say they don’t have any tricks up their sleeves, 「m.A.A.d city」 units and their attacks are able to phase past each other completely at will (Note: that this includes thrown projectiles, or any physical weapon the units use). This gives them an advantage in large numbers, being able to throw out more attacks freely against lone targets as well as dodge attacks without being body blocked by each other or thrown into each other. Being able to partially phase through each other also means they can climb over each other if the need for it arises.
Power: D (Each unit can throw a decent punch, but individually they aren’t too strong.)
Speed: C (Units are fairly nimble, faster on the uptake than you would think. The fact they are made of shadow probably also makes their body easier to move agilely.)
Range: A (The units are easy to control even from distances of up to 200 meters)
Durability: C (They will go down with a good blow to the head or chest. There are a lot of them, but they do have an eventual limit. However, there is no damage transference.)
Precision: C (They are decently precise considering their numbers, able to coordinate with each other and fight pretty effectively. They are also fairly non-taxing to control with very little mental strain to have them attack or physical strain when they are destroyed.)
Fighting Style: While 「m.A.A.d city」 might not seem like much other than a mindless swarm, it is anything but with how the users coordinate their abilities and attacks. In addition to their teamwork to cut in and cover for their allies, a key component to their fighting style is their adaptability.
When a 「m.A.A.d city」 unit is attacked, the rest will learn from their fallen comrades. For every trick or ace pulled on them, they will learn to counter or at least mitigate it. For example if you swing at them with a weapon, later ones may either go and block with their own weapons or learn to dodge by ducking the attack. If you use Area of Effect attacks, they will learn to look out and dodge them more effectively as well as avoid clumping together too closely. If you start shooting at them, they might learn to zigzag, go prone, or hide behind cover to avoid getting hit.
Nothing is off the table in terms of how they can adjust their fighting style using everything at their disposal to deal with opponents. Some might even act as sacrificial lambs to dive on grenades or learn to counter and preempt certain attacks, all in the name of the greater good of the whole collective. It may not be full proof, but reusing the same tricks will result in diminishing returns when fighting 「m.A.A.d city」.
In general, 「m.A.A.d city」 units will attack by covering each other’s backs in sequence and not giving the opponent any room to counter attack their offense as well as utilizing team attacks and follow ups. They will use simple fundamental street fighting techniques to gain the upper hand against their opponent such as grabs, kicks, punches, and blocks. This plus their ability to phase through each other allows them to completely cover each other in close combat, keep on dishing out hits without the fear of friendly fire and pummel grappled opponents. Needless to say the 21 Savages are going to get RETIREd or worse without intervention.
The crowbar armed units will make fairly simple swings, blocks, and kicks as needed, they may even throw their weapons as the situation necessitates it. Other units may also pick up crowbars from off the ground or make quick passes to their allies if they need it in a pinch.
Team Combatant JoJolity
Tower of Terra Robbert Chitter “That doesn’t look too serious… we can let it slide.” There’s enough targets here for you to deal with already, and though you’re not the friend of anyone here, you hold no real animosity towards either the 21 Savages or to M.I.A. Go a bit easy on them, and minimize damage to everyone except your enemies!
YMCA: GIT GUD M.I.A. “It’s your fault, Jojo! This is your responsibility! This is your fault, Jojo! You did this!” Come to think of it, all of you are facing the same enemy, right? You’re sick of running away, and you’re sick of just letting everyone around you down. Even if they aren’t your allies, they’re your responsibility. Maximize the safety of everyone here…besides those figures, of course.
Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to R3 Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!
REPORT:
A lone attacker with a Stand that turned things into candy, likely ex-Yakuza. Entered through the decoy entrance and was ambushed at the marked decoy.
Stand User: Chul Ahn
Age: 42
Stand Name: 「Candyman」
Stand Type: Close-Range Punchghost
Stand Appearance: A slender, masculine humanoid with a dark chocolate base wearing black slacks made up of Kkul-tarae threads and held up by a Yeot-gangjeong knife belt. A pair of two intertwined hard-candy dragons adorn each arm, one made of dark green hard candy, the other red.
Stand Ability: 「Candy Transmutation」 - On touch, 「Candyman」 and its user can turn anything into ‘Candy,’ any foodstuff in which sugar is the primary ingredient.
Power: D
Speed: B
Durability: B
Range: C
Precision: C
User Status: RETIRED
submitted by Logic_Sandwich to StardustCrusaders [link] [comments]

[Lets Build] Unusual Scifi Bartenders

Welcome to the 75th [Lets Build]!
TOPIC: Unusual Scifi Bartenders
Die Roll Result
1 A gigantic centipede curling along the length of the bar, several sections of its body are serving different customers.
2 A mass of small, uncoordinated robots are attempting to serve drinks to customers. They are spilling drinks, shattering glasses and generally doing a poor job of service but somehow manage to succeed through sheer force of numbers.
3 A time-traveler who gets the drinks by entering a small portal in the back of the bar and ordering the drinks in other bars in different times and dimensions as a fake visitor. He can get you any drink what-so-ever for twice it's original price. Also might permanently alter reality because of time traveling paradox.
4 A large computer wired up to an automatic drinks-dispensing, cash-collecting mechanism that happily serves the patrons drinks while beeping incessantly. Flashing lights included.
5 Skliff - A six foot tall amoeboid with a faint purple hue. Skliff has the unfortunate habit of accidentally absorbing the drinks that it serves. Although it can't talk, Skliff has a reputation as a great listener and several regulars insist that it has given them great advice. One even says that Skliff saved his marriage.
6 Graelg - An enormous creature, not unlike an earth angler fish, however, Graelg's lure is a voluptuous humanoid. Graelg heard the commotion of the bar, and used the sewers to move underneath and place its lure. The lure moves behind the bar and has enough connection to the Graelg's brain to carry out small talk and get orders, unfortunately not enough to get them all right. This is fine for the Graelg because the humanoids who are attracted to the lure enough to not care about the mistakes will follow it downstairs to the basement and the Graelg's mouth.
7 Terrence - Standing nine feet tall, Terrence is a a humanoid beetle from Exoplanet 648-A89. He's covered in a slick, blue-black, chitinous armor, and fine hairs of the same color. Terrence can serve four trays of drinks at once, and the other bartenders will ask him to help with carrying up a particularly heavy keg, barrel, or rack of canisters. Terrence also acts as the bar's bouncer, but those who work with him know that, despite his intimidating mandibles and exoskeleton, Terrence is a sweetheart.
8 Thompson doesn't actually own the bar, or work here. He was a patron here some time long ago, and one day decided to help out by bringing an empty glass from a nearby table back to the bar. On his way, someone ordered a drink from him and he figured "I guess I could bring it to him..." and while on his way back to serve this patron, someone else requested an order of onion rings. Thompson tried to find the waitstaff and kitchenstaff and owner, but to no avail. He has been serving patrons ever since. He keeps all the tips he earns, but dutiful keeps careful tabs on the bars books, and stores all the gold he receives from drinks and food in barrels in the cellar for when the owners eventually return, whenever that will be. He figures "If I owned a tavern and was indisposed, I hope some kind soul would cover for me for a while!" and so he's been working here for the past 12 years. He never takes any wages, and lives only on his tips. He keeps the decor in the tavern exactly how it was that day he stopped in for a drink 12 years ago, and has basically faked it till he make-d it since. He is a kind old man, and no one really knows he isn't actually the proprietor. He doesn't correct anyone who assumes he is, for fear of someone taking advantage of the tavern. He cleans up every night by himself, locks the door, heads home, and in the morning is the first one back making sure glasses are cleaned, floors are swept, the beer is cold, and the Turnip and Fig tavern runs smoothly, day in and day out, until it's owners return.
9 A bartenter who becomes very offended by color yellow.
10 James is a 7' tall, 3'x3' wide featureless metallic gray brick, and is the bartender for the Incognito bar on the seventh rim, fourth spoke. The bar itself is nothing unusual, featuring low- to middle-grade beers and cocktails that show little ingenuity. James' stage presence, however, keeps the bar packed every night. Those hoping for a drink may chant out, "James! James! James!" and if enough do so simultaneously, the lights in the bar will flicker and go out for a moment. When the lights turn back on, the chanters will find their desired beverage in a glass in front of them. Trying to keep a flashlight on James will keep the trick from working, and testy patrons are quick to discourage people trying to find out the secret. Prices are clearly marked and payments are on the honor system, as James is the only employee. Those who skip their bill, however, often wake up to a home visit from James himself looking to collect on their drinks.
11 A completely generic human who very scared and confused because of all the weird patrons his bar is receiving.
12 An octopus in a trench coat. No one knows why it’s there, but maybe the manager thought it was a mind flayer or some kind of alien. It doesn’t understand any language and will only serve a generic beer... in a slimy glass.
13 A dog, he is a good boy. He fetchs any drink you ask for and people pay him out of respect. He owns and runs the establishment himself.
14 Gabbo is relatively human-like, spare for his metallic-green skin and exceptionally wide mouth. He's also not technically male, but insists that it's "close enough". He has a vice for small gambling wagers, and has given out far too many free drinks because of it. His boss would fire him but the regulars adore him!
15 Lin-Sabah: She is a part time Lepidopterist (A person who studies or collects butterflies and moths), and partially genetically modified her body to communicate with her pets. She owns a bar to fund her research, and her insects take tabs and deliver drinks when she i busy with other customers. The butterflies are for mornings and moths for night. Her eyes are cloudy and she has small wings and antennae. Lin will let her pets try tasks to test thier limits, but gets very defensive over customers trying or accidentally hurting her pets. If a customer kills one or starts a ruckus, she'll swarm them till they leave. She is constantly talking to her pets, so she is almost always talking to someone at any given time.
16 Sinhestara (Sin for short) is a tall green woman with a pair of antennae on her head, and three breasts that she shows off with sparkly hot pink pasties. Her bottom half is long and snake-like, and naked. In fact, the only clothes she really wears are her standard leather bracers around her four wrists. She is an expert multitasker with those four arms. Her eyes are dark and nebulous, with no distinct pupil. Her black hair is held up in a wild ponytail, save for her feathered bangs. It shines slightly red in the light. She elongated her S's when she speaks. She herself doesn't have a forked tongue, though, it's just a habit she's picked up from her native language/dialect. She is confident and open.
17 A child-sized octopedal arthropod which continually shouts insults at its customers. Its insults frequently reference the anatomy of its species, so very rarely are anyone's feelings ever hurt. Decent drinks.
18 The "bartender" is a custodian which will direct any customers into holding pods and collect payment. The real bar is in virtual reality accessed by the pods. The pod will alter the chemical makeup of one's body (or run a temporary behaviour modifying script for any robotic customers) do intoxicate them when they imbibe beverages in VR. Reroll for the bartender within the VR pub. Perceived drink taste and strength scales with cost.
19 The-one-that-is-called-barkeep is a Feloorian Anemone from the seas of Telvar-1c. It is a four meter tall grey-blue mound of flesh, bristling with more than three dozen tentacles, and embedded into a large ring of slightly porous sea stone which serves as the bar. Every 17 years a new stone must be shipped to the bar, and the barkeep moved to it, as it slowly consumes the minerals it contains for sustenance. Seven of it's tentacles end in large eyes with 'Y' shaped pupils, each a different color. It has learned over centuries to individually control the multiple nictitating membranes that each eye possesses, allowing it a degree of interaction with it's patrons beyond simply making drinks. The remaining tendrils branch into myriad tiny tendrils, which it uses to ply it's trade, using a large ring-shaped framework hanging from the ceiling of the bar, containing an impressive number of bottles mounted neck down into valved holders. The frame also contains a misting system to keep it's skin moist and hydrated. While it cannot speak, it can hear, and always acknowledges customers with a friendly nod of an eyestalk as it mixes their requested drinks. If one were to look closely at the selection of ingredients, there would be some oddities found. A blue bottle with a faint luminescence labeled "wistfulness", a green bottle whose contents seem to bubble constantly and whose label is in no known language. There is one with a liquid that seems to be holding still in the shape of a crashing wave, labeled "joyous homecoming in the last days of summer". a jet black bottle with the ominous label of "the unmaker". And many others.
20 Ni'Mora is a very young hive mind. They have four bodies, all of it's preferred type, bipedal sentient beings. They work here because of their aversion to forcing other sentient beings to join against their will. Ni'Mora is the childemind of K'naxx, a hive mind that spans seven planets. Ni'Mora is always looking for new bodies, and is a cheap surgical team, they can heal even death up to 24 hours out when given permission to assimilate a being.
21 A humanline robot that makes drinks by consuming each ingredient separately, then removes a glass from within its abdomen that contains the desired drink made perfectly. On occasion, a small piece of metal such as a washer or bolt will be sitting in the glass, much to the robot’s embarrassment.
22 You-want-some-more is a mechanical automoton with a soda/liquor dispenser arm. Theoretically, it's programmed to ask "Do you want some more?" A bug in the coding drops the "Do" and it simply states it's command as it overfills drinks. The programmer was shot dead playing poker on Alpha-7, and he used a really good password.
23 Very eccentric. Looks human. Organs, limbs, and all. No apparent extra features. Insists that he is named "The Bartender." There is a picture of The Bartender outside the Tavern, but occasionally on return visits, he looks different. Still human but very distinct. Once or twice it was actually a WOMAN. So many patrons seem to revere this Bartender. You sometimes hear his name spoken, whether I fear or reverence, in remote corners of the world.
24 A small foetus wearing a tiny tailor made bartender suit. It floats in a levitating glass orb, surrounded by smaller glass orbs that orbit it. Drinks are never ordered, but if anyone wants to get a drink, it would read on the bar, with the price added to their tab. Each drink is made telekinetically, with the various orbs moving about, grabbing drinks within them and mixing them. It's signature drink is the "Child's Play", a multicoloured, swirling glittery drink, that invokes a feeling of safety, and contentment, usually followed by happy childhood memories when possible.
25 The bartender is a small humanoid of an unrecognizable species, but he appears to be very, very old. He wears a drab robe and sits solemnly on a chair behind the bar, next to a cooler. While you're ordering your drink, he pulls it out of the cooler before you finish speaking. It's perfectly made. He immediately prepares another drink and places it in the cooler, ready for the next patron.
26 The bartender is a dense cloud of noxious gas with 5 colorful luminescent orbs floating in it. The gas is telepathic and speaks in your mind with an ambiguous accent, with the orbs flashing as it "speaks". It materializes your desired drink out of thin air and it is delicious, but the cloud has a habit of bursting into song.
27 The bartender appears relatively normal, although there is something suspicious about him. When you reach for your coins to pay for the drink, you realize that the required payment is missing. There is no possible way he could have reached them.
28 This bartending robot has So. Many. Arms. Unfortunately every drink it makes is poisonous to humans.
29 Upon reaching the bar, there is a dense cloud which shimmers and moves in erratic patterns. When you order a drink, the cloud condenses near an empty cup and a "rainfall" of the drink you ordered falls into the cup. Toppings and the cup is moved by way of a strong force of wind. Taking a hold of the drink, the cloud moves past your ear and random sounds from across the room are seemingly carried by the wind to form the words "thank you".
30 A sloppy looking slug creature sits behind the bar. The 12 drinks on the menu are ones you've never heard of. Upon ordering one, the slug lifts its body and exposes 12 breasts. One of the breasts is put in a device which squeezes it spouting different colored liquids for each one. The action looks gross but the drink looks and tastes amazing.
31 Buford, an uplifted grizzly bear, doesn't have any strong opinions on local politics. He will talk your ear off about how 16th wave microbrewers shot themselves in the foot by trying to lobby against sentient yeasts. Jokes about pic-a-nic baskets are a great way to get yourself banned form the bar for life.
32 Exodus is an artificial intelligence and techno-prophet. At least, that's what it claims, and since it always seems to know why you're there, who you're meeting, and what you'd like to drink, it's hard to argue. Its avatar (a wild-eyed man with a tendency to say "Lo" and "Unto" more than anybody is used to) is only ever seen inside the bar, yet it always seems to know what's going on outside.
33 After her face was mutilated in a chemical spill on Orleans VII, Edmée Jackson-Salazar managed to walk away with an impressive settlement which she spent on two things: a custom-built holoprojection facade which covers her features with a mostly believable simulacrum of her old face, and the bar where she now serves drinks. Edmée has no love for the corporations that suck the life out of the working man, but none can say if rumors about her involvement with various groups of that persuasion are accurate or not. If you're feeling brave, Edmée's home-brewed tequila is said to use Orleanian agave, a strain banned for its mind-altering properties.
34 The bar tender appears to be a normal human despite his purple skin tone. He seems like he is ignoring you to clean a glass whenever you approach him, but if you order a drink his visage flutters for a moment and the beverage is set infront of you, as he continues to work off the smudge on the glass that he just can't seem to get.
35 A star being that is behind a protective screen which emits the ingredients necessary to make your drink by performing fusion on the hydrogen it consumes as sustenance, which is then collected and dispensed into your mug.
36 A dozen clones of the same guy along the length of the day making the same jokes and wise cracks to all the patrons.
37 A rock monster scoops up several gems and grinds them into a fine powder which he puts onto the rim of a fancy margarita. They glow with a slight iridescence.
38 A hot alien girl in a dingy bar, stating that she'd "like to check out your midichlorian count." Whatever that means.
39 A robot with arms and hands that seem to be able to split infinitely into smaller and smaller appendages to serve everyone at once.
40 Placing your palm on the bar and thinking about your order causes your drink to lift out of a nearby opening on the bar.
41 A motionless brain in a jar reads your thoughts as you approach the bar then telepathically makes your drink and slides it to you.
42 A pair of twins alternate adding one ingredient each to your cocktail.
43 A chip in the table overhears your group requests for a round, and a hovering drinks tray brings them over.
44 A robot that is monotone but very sarcastic and makes fun of whatever the patrons order.
45 No bartender. Instead, everything is automated.
46 An alien that only understands what you're saying if it rhymes.
47 A human man from the 1950s. He's not sure how he got there.
48 A gelatinous being that excretes each drink from a different reservoir within.
49 A pair of tentacles emerging from a portal. You never see what's on the other side.
50 A tree that grows each drink. You pick each drink like fruit. It's branches cover the ceiling.
51 A team of tiny aliens no more than 5 inches tall.
52 A human with a tattoo in an alien script down their forearm that they insist means "Unbreakable". Anyone that can read the language sees that it means "Translation servers currently down, please try again later"
53 The "bar" is actually an elevated strip of dirt. when a drink is ordered, the plants needed to brew the drink (barley for beer, grapes for wine ect) grow in fast motion before being quickly harvested and brewed by machine workers. This whole process start to finish takes about 5 minutes.
54 Formerly a generic, faceless mook serving under a recently-toppled evil empire; now a bitter, usually drunk washout. He wears the tattered remains of his old uniform. He will begrudgingly serve whatever you might ask him for if it's available in his (admittedly limited) stock, but if he recognizes you as someone involved in the collapse of his former employer's empire, he might just pull a gun on you.
55 A nonsentient aggregate of nanomachines, formed into a roughly six-foot rectangular prism; the aggregate recognizes commands for beverages and can reformat any matter into a liquid matching the order placed. Just don't leave anything particularly important within grabbing distance, or you just might end up drinking your gun as a shot of whiskey.
56 Skudge: a foot-tall gremlin-like creature that carries himself around the bar on a platform pulled here and there by a surprisingly complex system of wedges and pulleys. Skudge is a mechanical genius, and can probably fix up any damaged gadget you give him, for a price; just don't expect factory new if he does...
57 A giant glass sphere levitates in mid air filled with a colorful swirl of gasses. When an order is placed, some of the gasses start to rain down on the inside of the glass and collect at the bottom, which then bulges and forms a massive pint sized raindrop that falls into the waiting glass.
58 Zenith!- he has a humanoid metal body with 1940's speakers for a head (the kind with the mesh façade to cover it). He can "see" with the radio antenna protruding from the top of his head and patrons have noticed he has memorized his bar's layout; which has started rumors that he's actually blind.
59 A bartender which is a claw machine, and you pay and play for your drinks. Still inside a bar.
60 A mass of black tentacles that burst forth from the floorboards in order to collect drinks, take and deliver orders, clean tables, and throw out rowdy patrons. They communicate through the use of a chalkboard.
61 A telepathic humanoid shapeshifter that skims people's memories in order to create a face that the customer would be comfortable with. If things get too busy features start to mash together as they can't keep changing back and forth that quickly. If you are in the bar after hours you will see that the true form is that of an incredibly pale sallowy agender person with no distinguishing features whatsoever with the exception of their lack of features.
62 Several space age roombas that knock into people's feet and then curse using holographic Q-bert symbols. There is no "bartender" so to speak, but there is a touchscreen menu at every table that is gauranteed to fuck up in some way.
63 The bottles are all animated and have a place where you can scan a credit chit. They will proposition you for drinks in the same competitive way that people would offer dances at a strip club. Each bottle is programmed with it's own personality, and the regulars have chosen their favorite drinks based on personality rather than taste.
64 A creature so strange, so alien that in order to protect the sanity of it's customers he puts a baroque painting of a king over his "face" with the eyes cut out in order to make him more approachable.
65 A very hairy man(?), long red waves of it covering most of his body. The only thing visible are a long protruding nose and gnarled old arms. When making a drink, he takes the glass and brings it close to him, behind the layer of hair, along with all the necessary taps and ingredients and tools. After a shockingly short amount of time, he'll hand you the beverage. Surprisingly, there's nothing wrong with the beverage. Even more surprising, not a single hair gets in your drink.
66 The bartender (male), a patron at the bar (male), and a pregnant mother (both female) are all in fact the same person at various stages of their time travelling life. re: '—All You Zombies—'
67 Sentient Alcohol- You shout out what you want, and the appropriate bottles begin to shiver and shake. A thin stream of liquid rises, snakelike, from its bottle and then writhes into a glass. Rumor has it that anyone not paying gets a massive hangover that lasts until the debt is paid.
68 The bartender has a loose sleeveless shirt that shows much of their skin. Across their skin, you notice that their tattoos are not merely ink, they move across the skin. The bow of the pirate ship bounces across the tide with the foam spray splattering across the mermaid figurehead. "Mom" who passed away in '93 curls her arms a little tighter around her infant child, and brushes the curls out of their eyes. The villain in black robes severs the heroes hand with a blazing red laser sword, before the hero stumbles off of the platform.
69 No one knows his name, but he appears to only serve water, and glares at everyone until they drink it. The only reason that he's still in business is the only other bar in 100 light years serves only metallic salts mixed into various radioactive isotopes.
70 Krema Soada, a beautiful alien woman that loves to sing and dance as she makes the drinks. She never asks what you want but every time she sends a drink on it pleases the customer. She loves talking about herself as long as you don't ask him why he's a guy now?
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List contributors: u/ba_Marsh_Wiggle, u/Ytumith, u/r3dj4ck0424, u/tldidntmind, u/Sundance91, u/Alloc14, u/ceilius, u/Ayy_Johnny_J, u/samurai_for_hire, u/Trottedr, u/deadgaiko, u/NovaStorm970, u/tinylittleparty, u/aquaticLandwhale, u/AlephBaker, u/jareds120, u/ApertureBrowserCore, u/Panwall, u/NeoMegaRyuMKII, u/Psychogent30, u/StevenGannJr, u/Saml2l0, u/lilbluehair, u/Loricman, u/Iron-Giants, u/nermid, u/Rancerle, u/accidentallyepic, u/solidfang, u/tommy1138, u/Prof_Winning, u/oddtwang, u/Slowmo_Stevonson, u/eekbarbadurkle00, u/Jacknerik, u/Mysterious-Maverick, u/RosettaStoned6, u/HATOBAKKA, u/GarlicInfo, u/LlamaLegate, u/KHeaney, u/Courtholomew, u/thelawfulneutral, u/MildlyConcernedGhost, u/unity57643
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[Lets Build][Repost] Unusual Scifi Bartenders

Welcome to the 75th [Lets Build]!
TOPIC: Unusual Scifi Bartenders
Die Roll Result
1 A gigantic centipede curling along the length of the bar, several sections of its body are serving different customers.
2 A mass of small, uncoordinated robots are attempting to serve drinks to customers. They are spilling drinks, shattering glasses and generally doing a poor job of service but somehow manage to succeed through sheer force of numbers.
3 A time-traveler who gets the drinks by entering a small portal in the back of the bar and ordering the drinks in other bars in different times and dimensions as a fake visitor. He can get you any drink what-so-ever for twice it's original price. Also might permanently alter reality because of time traveling paradox.
4 A large computer wired up to an automatic drinks-dispensing, cash-collecting mechanism that happily serves the patrons drinks while beeping incessantly. Flashing lights included.
5 Skliff - A six foot tall amoeboid with a faint purple hue. Skliff has the unfortunate habit of accidentally absorbing the drinks that it serves. Although it can't talk, Skliff has a reputation as a great listener and several regulars insist that it has given them great advice. One even says that Skliff saved his marriage.
6 Graelg - An enormous creature, not unlike an earth angler fish, however, Graelg's lure is a voluptuous humanoid. Graelg heard the commotion of the bar, and used the sewers to move underneath and place its lure. The lure moves behind the bar and has enough connection to the Graelg's brain to carry out small talk and get orders, unfortunately not enough to get them all right. This is fine for the Graelg because the humanoids who are attracted to the lure enough to not care about the mistakes will follow it downstairs to the basement and the Graelg's mouth.
7 Terrence - Standing nine feet tall, Terrence is a a humanoid beetle from Exoplanet 648-A89. He's covered in a slick, blue-black, chitinous armor, and fine hairs of the same color. Terrence can serve four trays of drinks at once, and the other bartenders will ask him to help with carrying up a particularly heavy keg, barrel, or rack of canisters. Terrence also acts as the bar's bouncer, but those who work with him know that, despite his intimidating mandibles and exoskeleton, Terrence is a sweetheart.
8 Thompson doesn't actually own the bar, or work here. He was a patron here some time long ago, and one day decided to help out by bringing an empty glass from a nearby table back to the bar. On his way, someone ordered a drink from him and he figured "I guess I could bring it to him..." and while on his way back to serve this patron, someone else requested an order of onion rings. Thompson tried to find the waitstaff and kitchenstaff and owner, but to no avail. He has been serving patrons ever since. He keeps all the tips he earns, but dutiful keeps careful tabs on the bars books, and stores all the gold he receives from drinks and food in barrels in the cellar for when the owners eventually return, whenever that will be. He figures "If I owned a tavern and was indisposed, I hope some kind soul would cover for me for a while!" and so he's been working here for the past 12 years. He never takes any wages, and lives only on his tips. He keeps the decor in the tavern exactly how it was that day he stopped in for a drink 12 years ago, and has basically faked it till he make-d it since. He is a kind old man, and no one really knows he isn't actually the proprietor. He doesn't correct anyone who assumes he is, for fear of someone taking advantage of the tavern. He cleans up every night by himself, locks the door, heads home, and in the morning is the first one back making sure glasses are cleaned, floors are swept, the beer is cold, and the Turnip and Fig tavern runs smoothly, day in and day out, until it's owners return.
9 A bartenter who becomes very offended by color yellow.
10 James is a 7' tall, 3'x3' wide featureless metallic gray brick, and is the bartender for the Incognito bar on the seventh rim, fourth spoke. The bar itself is nothing unusual, featuring low- to middle-grade beers and cocktails that show little ingenuity. James' stage presence, however, keeps the bar packed every night. Those hoping for a drink may chant out, "James! James! James!" and if enough do so simultaneously, the lights in the bar will flicker and go out for a moment. When the lights turn back on, the chanters will find their desired beverage in a glass in front of them. Trying to keep a flashlight on James will keep the trick from working, and testy patrons are quick to discourage people trying to find out the secret. Prices are clearly marked and payments are on the honor system, as James is the only employee. Those who skip their bill, however, often wake up to a home visit from James himself looking to collect on their drinks.
11 A completely generic human who very scared and confused because of all the weird patrons his bar is receiving.
12 An octopus in a trench coat. No one knows why it’s there, but maybe the manager thought it was a mind flayer or some kind of alien. It doesn’t understand any language and will only serve a generic beer... in a slimy glass.
13 A dog, he is a good boy. He fetchs any drink you ask for and people pay him out of respect. He owns and runs the establishment himself.
14 Gabbo is relatively human-like, spare for his metallic-green skin and exceptionally wide mouth. He's also not technically male, but insists that it's "close enough". He has a vice for small gambling wagers, and has given out far too many free drinks because of it. His boss would fire him but the regulars adore him!
15 Lin-Sabah: She is a part time Lepidopterist (A person who studies or collects butterflies and moths), and partially genetically modified her body to communicate with her pets. She owns a bar to fund her research, and her insects take tabs and deliver drinks when she i busy with other customers. The butterflies are for mornings and moths for night. Her eyes are cloudy and she has small wings and antennae. Lin will let her pets try tasks to test thier limits, but gets very defensive over customers trying or accidentally hurting her pets. If a customer kills one or starts a ruckus, she'll swarm them till they leave. She is constantly talking to her pets, so she is almost always talking to someone at any given time.
16 Sinhestara (Sin for short) is a tall green woman with a pair of antennae on her head, and three breasts that she shows off with sparkly hot pink pasties. Her bottom half is long and snake-like, and naked. In fact, the only clothes she really wears are her standard leather bracers around her four wrists. She is an expert multitasker with those four arms. Her eyes are dark and nebulous, with no distinct pupil. Her black hair is held up in a wild ponytail, save for her feathered bangs. It shines slightly red in the light. She elongated her S's when she speaks. She herself doesn't have a forked tongue, though, it's just a habit she's picked up from her native language/dialect. She is confident and open.
17 A child-sized octopedal arthropod which continually shouts insults at its customers. Its insults frequently reference the anatomy of its species, so very rarely are anyone's feelings ever hurt. Decent drinks.
18 The "bartender" is a custodian which will direct any customers into holding pods and collect payment. The real bar is in virtual reality accessed by the pods. The pod will alter the chemical makeup of one's body (or run a temporary behaviour modifying script for any robotic customers) do intoxicate them when they imbibe beverages in VR. Reroll for the bartender within the VR pub. Perceived drink taste and strength scales with cost.
19 The-one-that-is-called-barkeep is a Feloorian Anemone from the seas of Telvar-1c. It is a four meter tall grey-blue mound of flesh, bristling with more than three dozen tentacles, and embedded into a large ring of slightly porous sea stone which serves as the bar. Every 17 years a new stone must be shipped to the bar, and the barkeep moved to it, as it slowly consumes the minerals it contains for sustenance. Seven of it's tentacles end in large eyes with 'Y' shaped pupils, each a different color. It has learned over centuries to individually control the multiple nictitating membranes that each eye possesses, allowing it a degree of interaction with it's patrons beyond simply making drinks. The remaining tendrils branch into myriad tiny tendrils, which it uses to ply it's trade, using a large ring-shaped framework hanging from the ceiling of the bar, containing an impressive number of bottles mounted neck down into valved holders. The frame also contains a misting system to keep it's skin moist and hydrated. While it cannot speak, it can hear, and always acknowledges customers with a friendly nod of an eyestalk as it mixes their requested drinks. If one were to look closely at the selection of ingredients, there would be some oddities found. A blue bottle with a faint luminescence labeled "wistfulness", a green bottle whose contents seem to bubble constantly and whose label is in no known language. There is one with a liquid that seems to be holding still in the shape of a crashing wave, labeled "joyous homecoming in the last days of summer". a jet black bottle with the ominous label of "the unmaker". And many others.
20 Ni'Mora is a very young hive mind. They have four bodies, all of it's preferred type, bipedal sentient beings. They work here because of their aversion to forcing other sentient beings to join against their will. Ni'Mora is the childemind of K'naxx, a hive mind that spans seven planets. Ni'Mora is always looking for new bodies, and is a cheap surgical team, they can heal even death up to 24 hours out when given permission to assimilate a being.
21 A humanline robot that makes drinks by consuming each ingredient separately, then removes a glass from within its abdomen that contains the desired drink made perfectly. On occasion, a small piece of metal such as a washer or bolt will be sitting in the glass, much to the robot’s embarrassment.
22 You-want-some-more is a mechanical automoton with a soda/liquor dispenser arm. Theoretically, it's programmed to ask "Do you want some more?" A bug in the coding drops the "Do" and it simply states it's command as it overfills drinks. The programmer was shot dead playing poker on Alpha-7, and he used a really good password.
23 Very eccentric. Looks human. Organs, limbs, and all. No apparent extra features. Insists that he is named "The Bartender." There is a picture of The Bartender outside the Tavern, but occasionally on return visits, he looks different. Still human but very distinct. Once or twice it was actually a WOMAN. So many patrons seem to revere this Bartender. You sometimes hear his name spoken, whether I fear or reverence, in remote corners of the world.
24 A small foetus wearing a tiny tailor made bartender suit. It floats in a levitating glass orb, surrounded by smaller glass orbs that orbit it. Drinks are never ordered, but if anyone wants to get a drink, it would read on the bar, with the price added to their tab. Each drink is made telekinetically, with the various orbs moving about, grabbing drinks within them and mixing them. It's signature drink is the "Child's Play", a multicoloured, swirling glittery drink, that invokes a feeling of safety, and contentment, usually followed by happy childhood memories when possible.
25 The bartender is a small humanoid of an unrecognizable species, but he appears to be very, very old. He wears a drab robe and sits solemnly on a chair behind the bar, next to a cooler. While you're ordering your drink, he pulls it out of the cooler before you finish speaking. It's perfectly made. He immediately prepares another drink and places it in the cooler, ready for the next patron.
26 The bartender is a dense cloud of noxious gas with 5 colorful luminescent orbs floating in it. The gas is telepathic and speaks in your mind with an ambiguous accent, with the orbs flashing as it "speaks". It materializes your desired drink out of thin air and it is delicious, but the cloud has a habit of bursting into song.
27 The bartender appears relatively normal, although there is something suspicious about him. When you reach for your coins to pay for the drink, you realize that the required payment is missing. There is no possible way he could have reached them.
28 This bartending robot has So. Many. Arms. Unfortunately every drink it makes is poisonous to humans.
29 Upon reaching the bar, there is a dense cloud which shimmers and moves in erratic patterns. When you order a drink, the cloud condenses near an empty cup and a "rainfall" of the drink you ordered falls into the cup. Toppings and the cup is moved by way of a strong force of wind. Taking a hold of the drink, the cloud moves past your ear and random sounds from across the room are seemingly carried by the wind to form the words "thank you".
30 A sloppy looking slug creature sits behind the bar. The 12 drinks on the menu are ones you've never heard of. Upon ordering one, the slug lifts its body and exposes 12 breasts. One of the breasts is put in a device which squeezes it spouting different colored liquids for each one. The action looks gross but the drink looks and tastes amazing.
31 Buford, an uplifted grizzly bear, doesn't have any strong opinions on local politics. He will talk your ear off about how 16th wave microbrewers shot themselves in the foot by trying to lobby against sentient yeasts. Jokes about pic-a-nic baskets are a great way to get yourself banned form the bar for life.
32 Exodus is an artificial intelligence and techno-prophet. At least, that's what it claims, and since it always seems to know why you're there, who you're meeting, and what you'd like to drink, it's hard to argue. Its avatar (a wild-eyed man with a tendency to say "Lo" and "Unto" more than anybody is used to) is only ever seen inside the bar, yet it always seems to know what's going on outside.
33 After her face was mutilated in a chemical spill on Orleans VII, Edmée Jackson-Salazar managed to walk away with an impressive settlement which she spent on two things: a custom-built holoprojection facade which covers her features with a mostly believable simulacrum of her old face, and the bar where she now serves drinks. Edmée has no love for the corporations that suck the life out of the working man, but none can say if rumors about her involvement with various groups of that persuasion are accurate or not. If you're feeling brave, Edmée's home-brewed tequila is said to use Orleanian agave, a strain banned for its mind-altering properties.
34 The bar tender appears to be a normal human despite his purple skin tone. He seems like he is ignoring you to clean a glass whenever you approach him, but if you order a drink his visage flutters for a moment and the beverage is set infront of you, as he continues to work off the smudge on the glass that he just can't seem to get.
35 A star being that is behind a protective screen which emits the ingredients necessary to make your drink by performing fusion on the hydrogen it consumes as sustenance, which is then collected and dispensed into your mug.
36 A dozen clones of the same guy along the length of the day making the same jokes and wise cracks to all the patrons.
37 A rock monster scoops up several gems and grinds them into a fine powder which he puts onto the rim of a fancy margarita. They glow with a slight iridescence.
38 A hot alien girl in a dingy bar, stating that she'd "like to check out your midichlorian count." Whatever that means.
39 A robot with arms and hands that seem to be able to split infinitely into smaller and smaller appendages to serve everyone at once.
40 Placing your palm on the bar and thinking about your order causes your drink to lift out of a nearby opening on the bar.
41 A motionless brain in a jar reads your thoughts as you approach the bar then telepathically makes your drink and slides it to you.
42 A pair of twins alternate adding one ingredient each to your cocktail.
43 A chip in the table overhears your group requests for a round, and a hovering drinks tray brings them over.
44 A robot that is monotone but very sarcastic and makes fun of whatever the patrons order.
45 No bartender. Instead, everything is automated.
46 An alien that only understands what you're saying if it rhymes.
47 A human man from the 1950s. He's not sure how he got there.
48 A gelatinous being that excretes each drink from a different reservoir within.
49 A pair of tentacles emerging from a portal. You never see what's on the other side.
50 A tree that grows each drink. You pick each drink like fruit. It's branches cover the ceiling.
51 A team of tiny aliens no more than 5 inches tall.
52 A human with a tattoo in an alien script down their forearm that they insist means "Unbreakable". Anyone that can read the language sees that it means "Translation servers currently down, please try again later"
53 The "bar" is actually an elevated strip of dirt. when a drink is ordered, the plants needed to brew the drink (barley for beer, grapes for wine ect) grow in fast motion before being quickly harvested and brewed by machine workers. This whole process start to finish takes about 5 minutes.
54 Formerly a generic, faceless mook serving under a recently-toppled evil empire; now a bitter, usually drunk washout. He wears the tattered remains of his old uniform. He will begrudgingly serve whatever you might ask him for if it's available in his (admittedly limited) stock, but if he recognizes you as someone involved in the collapse of his former employer's empire, he might just pull a gun on you.
55 A nonsentient aggregate of nanomachines, formed into a roughly six-foot rectangular prism; the aggregate recognizes commands for beverages and can reformat any matter into a liquid matching the order placed. Just don't leave anything particularly important within grabbing distance, or you just might end up drinking your gun as a shot of whiskey.
56 Skudge: a foot-tall gremlin-like creature that carries himself around the bar on a platform pulled here and there by a surprisingly complex system of wedges and pulleys. Skudge is a mechanical genius, and can probably fix up any damaged gadget you give him, for a price; just don't expect factory new if he does...
57 A giant glass sphere levitates in mid air filled with a colorful swirl of gasses. When an order is placed, some of the gasses start to rain down on the inside of the glass and collect at the bottom, which then bulges and forms a massive pint sized raindrop that falls into the waiting glass.
58 Zenith!- he has a humanoid metal body with 1940's speakers for a head (the kind with the mesh façade to cover it). He can "see" with the radio antenna protruding from the top of his head and patrons have noticed he has memorized his bar's layout; which has started rumors that he's actually blind.
59 A bartender which is a claw machine, and you pay and play for your drinks. Still inside a bar.
60 A mass of black tentacles that burst forth from the floorboards in order to collect drinks, take and deliver orders, clean tables, and throw out rowdy patrons. They communicate through the use of a chalkboard.
61 A telepathic humanoid shapeshifter that skims people's memories in order to create a face that the customer would be comfortable with. If things get too busy features start to mash together as they can't keep changing back and forth that quickly. If you are in the bar after hours you will see that the true form is that of an incredibly pale sallowy agender person with no distinguishing features whatsoever with the exception of their lack of features.
62 Several space age roombas that knock into people's feet and then curse using holographic Q-bert symbols. There is no "bartender" so to speak, but there is a touchscreen menu at every table that is gauranteed to fuck up in some way.
63 The bottles are all animated and have a place where you can scan a credit chit. They will proposition you for drinks in the same competitive way that people would offer dances at a strip club. Each bottle is programmed with it's own personality, and the regulars have chosen their favorite drinks based on personality rather than taste.
64 A creature so strange, so alien that in order to protect the sanity of it's customers he puts a baroque painting of a king over his "face" with the eyes cut out in order to make him more approachable.
65 A very hairy man(?), long red waves of it covering most of his body. The only thing visible are a long protruding nose and gnarled old arms. When making a drink, he takes the glass and brings it close to him, behind the layer of hair, along with all the necessary taps and ingredients and tools. After a shockingly short amount of time, he'll hand you the beverage. Surprisingly, there's nothing wrong with the beverage. Even more surprising, not a single hair gets in your drink.
66 The bartender (male), a patron at the bar (male), and a pregnant mother (both female) are all in fact the same person at various stages of their time travelling life. re: '—All You Zombies—'
67 Sentient Alcohol- You shout out what you want, and the appropriate bottles begin to shiver and shake. A thin stream of liquid rises, snakelike, from its bottle and then writhes into a glass. Rumor has it that anyone not paying gets a massive hangover that lasts until the debt is paid.
68 The bartender has a loose sleeveless shirt that shows much of their skin. Across their skin, you notice that their tattoos are not merely ink, they move across the skin. The bow of the pirate ship bounces across the tide with the foam spray splattering across the mermaid figurehead. "Mom" who passed away in '93 curls her arms a little tighter around her infant child, and brushes the curls out of their eyes. The villain in black robes severs the heroes hand with a blazing red laser sword, before the hero stumbles off of the platform.
69 No one knows his name, but he appears to only serve water, and glares at everyone until they drink it. The only reason that he's still in business is the only other bar in 100 light years serves only metallic salts mixed into various radioactive isotopes.
70 Krema Soada, a beautiful alien woman that loves to sing and dance as she makes the drinks. She never asks what you want but every time she sends a drink on it pleases the customer. She loves talking about herself as long as you don't ask him why he's a guy now?
71 A human bartender that survived an unfortunate encounter with radiation while serving in the galactic force. While he survived unharmed and with no outward ill effects, the damage to his DNA was such that he is no longer legally classified as human, and as such was striped of his place in the force and of his citizenship. Because of this, he has spent the last decade as a drifter, working odd jobs (such as in this bar) and is openly antagonistic towards other "Legal" humans.
72 Six-Fingers. A man without eye sockets that has a large forehead that goes from the hairline to the middle of his nose (hence its name: Six Fingers of forehead). It is not known how, but always prepare unique drinks for his customers, without ever repeating the combination of beverages.
73 A human with a single robotic arm tends the bar. A few minutes after you enter, their shift ends and they're replaced by a robot with a single human arm.
74 A series of bartenders all impersonating the original bartender that opened the place decades ago.
75 A series of soda fountains that let you pay for an all access booze buffet from different planets and realms. This is a great deal if you can get your fill within the (short) time limit.
76 A refreshment station similar to the ones at amusement parks that spray an alcohol like substance (in a mist) that absorbs through the skin as soon as you walk into the bar. From there there is no bartender, but several bouncers and a greeter that explains that they will incredibly drunk within 2 minutes.
77 A giant slime that can change its form to anything at will. The entire bar is its body, and he offers beverages made from the re-arranged molecules of its waste. It charges no money, but instead subsists off of the bacteria from your feet. When you walk around you can feel a slight sucking sensation as though picking up your feet in thick mud.
78 Several mosquito robots that inject illicit substances into people as they "need" it. An engineer sits behind a computer in the back controlling their actions and keeping the party going through constant surveillance and strategic druggings.
79 The bar has no staff members, instead everything is on tap and you serve yourself, with all the glasses keeping track of how much you have put in them and charge you accordingly. The flaws of this system become apparent when a visibly drunken man stumbles up to the tap and starts poring beer straight into his mouth.
80 The First Mercy- An archetypal angel, from wings and softly glowing eyes down to celestial arias whispering out around her. She encourages all who come into the bar to consider giving up drinking and tries to push non-alcoholic beverages. Nevertheless, the bar always has a multitude of patrons.
81 A clone of the current President of the Galactic Federation. Loves to talk politics.
82 Chyrossis of Nyx- A 10-foot tall cyclops, dressed in a tuxedo. Has a golden club, emblazoned with "The Management" in fiery letters, hanging over the bar.
83 A headset is provided when you enter into the bar; you are 'transported' to a 1920s speakeasy, with a tough-talking moll named Sweet Marie serving drinks. Unclear whether it is an elaborate virtual creation or actual time travel. Drinks are all period-appropriate, though.
84 A handsome, charismatic human named Frankie Ghullet holds up the bar. Observation shows that he is in fact chained to the bar with large iron foot shackles, with just enough chain to allow him to move around the bar. If asked about it, he usually responds jocularly that you had better pay your bar tab.
85 A large mirror stands on the edge of the bar. Every customer sees themselves making the drink that they ordered and serving it to them. As it turns out, people are naturally generous with tips when they are tipping themselves.
86 A slowly melting, moving ice sculpture pours drinks, which are pre-chilled. The runoff from the melting sculpture falls down a drain; once the sculpture is too far melted to effectively serve, it climbs into a freezer and is replaced with another sculpture.
87 The Barman - Inexplicably, no one can give a description of what the Barman looks like, or really remember the Barman at all. In fact, no one can remember what they drank at the bar either. They definitely did drink- their accounts show payment- but everything about the bar is... vague.
88 Angry Tom - The ghost of a pirate from the 18th century. The bar is carved from a piece of the quarterdeck that Tom once walked. Tom haunted the wreck of his ship, and then the bar, for centuries. Eventually, he tired of haunting and became interested in bar-tending. Now, he is as much a fixture of the bar as his quarterdeck.
89 The Sneaky Gobbo - An incredibly sneaky bartender, who enjoys refilling glasses when no one is looking. It is bad form to explicitly order a drink; instead, one sits down with an empty glass and comments on what one likes to drink. The glass will be filled shortly, with the sound of pattering feet and mischievous giggling. Payment is taken in a similar manner.
90 A brightly colored, cassowary-like bird stands at the bar, head slightly cocked. It makes no immediate response to those ordering drinks, but bawks after about four seconds. Moments later, a fledgling comes out from the back room, rolling an egg with the drink order inside.
91 Gidzet looks like a garden gnome, down to the hat, and is constantly, constantly muttering under his breath; he intersperses actual sentences to customers with his muttered undertone. He seems to know everyone by name, and careful listening catches the name of the listener in the muttering, but nothing else.
92 The Wicked Witchy Wenches of Abason IV - The bar is dark and misty, and there are the sounds of flitting things in the blackness overhead. Managing the bar are four wrinkled, green-skinned crones, stirring a huge black cauldron over a purplish fire. Every order is filled from the cauldron, but corresponds to what is ordered. The four crones cackle as they hobble back and forth, serving customers, but are actually pleasant conversationalists and useful contacts. Anyone gathering sufficient information finds a fascinating tidbit- there have been fourteen of these witches who have married customers and left the bar. When the marriage ceremony was complete, the witches were transformed into beautiful maidens; the couples went on to have happy, comfortable lives, and each had five children who are on the course to be great heroes. After each of these marriages, another crone appeared, keeping the number in the bar to four at all times.
93 A somewhat ragged anthropomorphic rabbit named "The September Hare," although the bar's frequenters call him "Sep." He has a picture of himself with his more famous cousin hanging behind the bar. All drinks are served in oversize teacups.
94 A large statue stands behind the bar. Close consideration reveals that it is covered with tiny scaffolding and ropes; there are miniature people running back and forth through the scaffolding, pulling levers and shouting commands to each other in a language that can't quite be understood. the statue jerkily moves and fills orders.
95 Just Jack- The bartender is a dark, lithe human male, with darting, wild eyes. He takes every order with a nervous giggle. He fills drinks by carefully placing the cups, then wildly stabbing bottles with a butterfly knife, eyes bright and a fiendish grin on his face. The bottles reseal after bleeding out the proper amount of liquid. No one has ever failed to pay in the bar.
96 A disconnected human hand, rather like 'Thing' from the Addams family. Pours with incredible grace and speed. Does not speak, but clearly understands.
97 A giant, 3-D version of an 8-bit sprite waits the bar. It appears to move glitchily, and makes GameBoyesque sounds as it pours.
98 A strange octopus-like alien takes up the entire ceiling. It passes drinks across it's many tentacles to serve the various customers.
99 A miniature spray cannon sits on the bar- when a drink is ordered, it processes the vectors and launches the drink through the air into the glass on the table. It is accurate 99.986% of the time!
100 A 1980's-style retrofuturistic D.J. acts as bartender. The drink mixer is a giant synthesizer.
List contributors: u/ba_Marsh_Wiggle, u/Ytumith, u/r3dj4ck0424, u/tldidntmind, u/Sundance91, u/Alloc14, u/ceilius, u/Ayy_Johnny_J, u/samurai_for_hire, u/Trottedr, u/deadgaiko, u/NovaStorm970, u/tinylittleparty, u/aquaticLandwhale, u/AlephBaker, u/jareds120, u/ApertureBrowserCore, u/Panwall, u/NeoMegaRyuMKII, u/Psychogent30, u/StevenGannJr, u/Saml2l0, u/lilbluehair, u/Loricman, u/Iron-Giants, u/nermid, u/Rancerle, u/accidentallyepic, u/solidfang, u/tommy1138, u/Prof_Winning, u/oddtwang, u/Slowmo_Stevonson, u/eekbarbadurkle00, u/Jacknerik, u/Mysterious-Maverick, u/RosettaStoned6, u/HATOBAKKA, u/GarlicInfo, u/LlamaLegate, u/KHeaney, u/Courtholomew, u/thelawfulneutral, u/MildlyConcernedGhost, u/unity57643, u/poio_sm
submitted by dndspeak to d100 [link] [comments]

Meeple of the Week - gamerthrowaway_

Greetings board gamers! In an effort to spotlight some standout members of the /boardgames community, we present to you the Meeple of the Week! Every week we'll be interviewing Reddit board gamers and presenting their profiles so you can get to know them better.
This week's Meeple of the Week is gamerthrowaway_

Real life

My name's Grayson, currently based in the capital of the Commonwealth of Virginia (RVA All Day!) and I get the ironic joy of being able to walk up to folks and say "Hi, I'm from the government and I'm here to help you" as I've worked in higher education for most of my life. Currently I support a large finance ERP application and have the role of a "mutant" as I've heard it called (someone who speaks and can do both arcane technical functions and regulatory/functional tasks). My parents were teachers, and they taught teaching method (lesson plan creation, classroom management, conceptual education), and that's helped as I've become the teacher of our game group (and to an extent, professionally on occasion although it's not my primary role).
Other hobbies would amount to travel and for a long time, music. I grew up in a household which valued travel and I saw a large swath of the US as a child. On the music front, my first job was video editing on old U-matic and SVHS decks (and an Amiga when we did overlays) and out of that, I took an interest in A/V production. For years I operated a mobile recording (audio) setup and would record bands in clubs from rock and punk, to jazz, and eventually orchestras. Some of that stuff I'd burn a lot of effort editing and mixing and actually saw release, but most of it was for reference by the bands or club operators (which is fine, albeit it pays less). It was a side gig while I worked a day job, and ultimately loading in pounds of racks and bags of mics at 2AM on a Wednesday to get up at 7 and go to work takes it's toll. Studied a lot of math and sound theory and there was one point where my gear was worth well over what the family car was, I've been slowly divesting myself of it to keep just the core pieces I want (mostly a set of mics I like, a preamp/adc box, and a single recorder to feed it all too). I sort of miss it, but not really.

Introduction to Board Gaming

How did you get introduced to Board Gaming? I got into gaming at an early age; when we were old enough to hold cards correctly and play by the rules, we could sit at the adult's table after dinner and play games of trump, dominos, and Pictionary with the extended family. A large chunk of the holidays was taken up by games (because we didn't have TV) and that's a tradition that my parents, spouse, and I continue now. In the mid/late 90s, I was introduced to Illuminati and Car Wars which gave me something to do other than play copious hours of Magic. I sort of plodded along until around 2005 when I discovered Carcassonne, Catan, and later Dominion. It wasn't until almost late 2012, early 2013 when my gaming really kicked up a notch as I was getting too old to slug around my recording equipment. Oddly enough (and I think this is emblematic of the hobby in many ways given correspondence with FLGS operators), I didn't know about BGG until almost 2014...

Gaming Habits

Do you customize your games? If so, can you describe one of the games you customized? I do, whether it's for function (as most of my economic games are modified for) or form (most everything else), I'm perfectly happy to tinker with it. My most spectacular one is probably my copy of Indonesia (example shot: http://imgur.com/dhzcH2d ) which at this point the stuff we use is completely custom in one way or another. Over the last year, I've taken the redrawn board image from BGG, blown it up to 150%, fixed a few more noted issues, redone a lot of the line work in places for contrast, and did a 6 piece mounted board of it. Redid all of the deeds on tiles to match the font of the new map, went to dice for ship capacity counters to get rid of Hull Capacity (which I edited out of my map’s image). Made my own tarot sized cards to fix the printing errors on the tiny ones. Printed and laminated the bid sheets so you don't have to do math, and I store it all in the giant white box (and I did a new label for the top and sides) so both plano boxes and the board all fit. I'm crafty enough due to previous work with an old version of Photoshop from college that I can generally make my own stuff. My copy of Glory to Rome is in a custom box that I used part of the European edition's cover for and redid the text and layout for it while my Container box http://imgur.com/RaUoAbL is from scratch. Working on one for Pax Pamir this summer that will be about the size of the Porfiriana collector's edition so I can store the expansion and special coins for it all in one spot. I've even clipped/rounded the corners on my Fire in the Lake set (the support/against/terror markers). I’ve thought about printing a super sized Fire in the Lake set and getting bigger pieces and custom chits and everything. Did up plans for what I’d need one afternoon but never got around to it.
On the accessories front, I’m almost as a bad as a teenage girl. I have a dice tower that was homemade as a gift from my father in law, a nice dice tray (because gamers basically fit into one of two styles, and I discovered I’m firmly in the Vegas Roll style), play mats, wooden boxes (for ONUW and little wooden ones for my set of Twilight Struggle in particular), glow in the dark dice, custom dice boxes, D6s made from bull horns, and a metal hexagonal cylinder die. I’ll even track down custom dice for certain games. I get non-foam core custom inserts when I can and if I’m super desperate i’ll build my own. Both mini (hidden money) and full sized poker chips for games, and a portable (and really loud) bluetooth speaker to play ONUW with. Used to have nice metal bowls for chits/counters and lost them at Origins last year, went to silicon cupcake holders for travel. I think the next thing I’m going to get is likely to be a small cork board and stand for it (ala the Eldritch Horror post from a while ago) to make a modular card/info display.
How often do you play games? Who do you play with? Where do you play? Living in at the edge of the BosWash megalopolis, my metro area is large enough that I can play games about 3 or 4 days in public every week if I wanted to. In particular, RVA has a burgeoning craft brew scene and two of the places host a weekly game night for board gamers. The Tuesday night one in particular is my favorite and I see about 10 regulars (of a crowd of about 20 each week). We run the gamut from lighter fare like Red7, Resistance, One Night Ultimate Werewolf, and Carcassonne to general games like Orleans, Neue Heimat, or Eldritch Horror while topping out at the heavy stuff like Terra Mystica and Indonesia. At 4 hour evenings (for either Monday or Tuesday), we have an opportunity to really flesh out some stuff. Monday night’s event is different and I don’t get out quite as much to that anymore due to work. Meetup is clutch for this as it really helps with the organization. At home, my wonderful spouse is my partner in crime and we play a number of 2p games like Ginkgopolis, 1989: Dawn of Freedom or Roads & Boats. So yeah, outside of the home, the slim majority of my gaming is in public at the pub with some friend’s places coming in a distant third. The one place I don’t game is at the game store. I did as a child when I lived in Maine for a period of time, but I don’t here, it’s not a conducive environment IMHO.
Do you have a Board Game Geek profile you are willing to share? 143245

Favorites

What is your Favorite Game? Fire in the Lake, Indonesia, 1989: Dawn of Freedom, or Glory to Rome (all 9/10 on BGG for me)
What is your Favorite Underrated Game? Kigi or Kulami (both at 2p)
Who is your Favorite Designer? Jason Matthews or Carl Chudyk
What is your Favorite Publisher? GMT Games, hands down.
What is your Favorite Component in a board game? Cards
What is your Favorite Gaming Mechanic? The CDG decision space of "op points or event." If not that, auctions.

Versus

FIGHT! WINNER
Cards: Sleeved vs. Unsleeved Sleeved if OOP/difficult to replace.
Theme vs. Mechanics Mechanics
Vertical vs. Horizontal box storage See extra questions...
Cooperative vs. Competitive Competitive
Short games vs. Long games Long
Ticket to Ride vs. Catan Ticket to Ride
Agricola vs Caverna Caverna
Castles of Mad King Ludwig vs Suburbia Castles of Mad King Ludwig

Q&A

What game can you not stand or refuse to play? Terra Mystica (had it, played 7 or 8 times in person, even more online, traded it away)
What's the most memorable gaming experience you've had? I'm pretty sure I've told this one before but I can't find the post on short notice. One Night Ultimate Werewolf, 5p (four of whom were experienced, one newbie), doppelganger, seer, revealer, insomniac, alpha wolf, tanner, and some other stuff that's inconsequential. Two sisters, my spouse, myself, and a young guy (the newbie). I'm the Alpha Wolf, I swap one of the sisters for the Insomniac and look into the center to see the tanner which does me a fat bit of good. Wakeup, claim to be the doppel of the seer to say the tanner is in the center. My spouse launches into how they were the doppel (and we both guessed the right seer, I got lucky there). We're going on and on and finally the newbie says "none of that matters, because I know where the werewolf is, it's this lady over here" to which he falls neatly into the revealers trap of no proof. She turns to her sister (the seer) and with a perfectly innocent face says "liar, I'm the Insomniac and I'm still the Insomniac." This goes back and forth and the argument naturally devolves into 2 on 2 (with the seer being the unknown). Her sister looks at her and says "are you really the insomniac" and she sells it. Three on two voting for the revealer. The howls of rage from my spouse and the revealer were worth it. Parting comment overhead that night was "you are not getting a ride home with me, I don't even know you anymore." I almost cried I laughed so hard.
Where do you buy games? Should you support your FLGS or just buy it cheaper online? I buy so few games anymore that I'll pick up at the largest chunk at my LGS. They do a major dent/ding operation at half off...
How many games are in your collection? BGG says about 65. I'd like to drop that to about 50 if I could.
What does /boardgames mean to you? It's interesting, this is sort of an evolution. Now it's a place to come and answer questions, and have general chat. I have met some really great folks specifically through here (the Fire in the Lake PBEM game last fall being the unifying thread). There are some rough edges (I guess expected on reddit), but overall, it could be monumentally worse.
If you could only keep 10 games in your collection, what 10 would they be? Tough stuff, but this week I'd say in no particular order:
My parents have a set of Wizard is why that was left off. That last one is a tossup. Sekigahara, Twilight Struggle, and a bunch of others were in the running and that 10th spot was the toughest to determine.
Is there anything else you'd like to add? Other topic tidbits:
bonus questions:
  1. Whats my game organization system (why are titles where they are)? As a reference, COMC: http://imgur.com/hEP2ie3 (that's like +90% of it. Some stuff from origins this year is on the next shelf down which is accessories and hasn't been organized yet).
  2. What’s my BGG use name a reference to?
  3. Guess why I have this for a reddit login.
  4. Look at my collection ratings (and formerly owned) and tell me two games I should try, one long and complicated, one short. Both opaque and interactive. (this is the WSIG post condensed into a nutshell)
  5. Reconcile how I can immensely enjoy things like Indonesia or Ora & Labora which are deterministic/no-luck games and seemingly luckfest games like Red7 or Pandemic The Cure. Where does NSDM or Twilight Struggle fit into this?
Past Meeples of the Week
submitted by MalReynolds to boardgames [link] [comments]

Raven and Neo-Man: Night of Murder Book 3

Setting: the power plant.
Page 15
Raven and Neo-Man run out of the plant and stare from the outside. The clock now reads 5 seconds.
Raven: azarath metrion zinthos!
A large forcefield of black energy forms around the entire plant, stopping the explosion from reaching city-wide levels.
Neo-Man: good job
Raven: good job? You almost destroyed the entire city.
Neo-Man: but I didn't, and thats all that matters. We're safe.
Raven: no thanks to you...
Neo-Man: soooorry for trying to stop a monster from murdering you. Maybe I shouldve let him!
Raven: You were about to kill me yourself, as well as millions of others!
NM: you know what, I don't even know why we're working together.
Raven: me neither!
Raven then walks away from Neo-Man, leaving him at the scene alone with the destroyed power plant.
Page 16
The scene then changes to night time in Germany as two old men Hans and Manfred are smoking and playing cards.
Hans: aha, give me the money!
He racks up all the chips.
Manfred: verdammt!
Hans: haha. I told you Manfred, you can never beat me!
Manfred: pure luck!
Suddenly knocks are heard at the door and manfred gets up.
Manfred: I'll get it.
He walks to the door and as soon as he opens it no ones there. He gets confused and out of no where gets stabbed in the stomach by blue meth as soon as he turns around. Manfred yells in agony.
Hans: Manfred!
He runs to the door and sees blue meth standing over manfreds body.
BM: long time no see.
Page 17
Hans runs back to the poker table to grab the gun taped underneath it. As blue meth approaches, Hans fires multiple rounds at him, but the bullets do no damage. Blue Meth then lunges at Hans and puts his hand around his throat up against a wall.
BM: Do you remember me?
Hans: wh.. Who are you!
BM: January 5th 1941.. The day you created a monster.
Flashback sequence begins. Joseph Methodius (blue meth) walks to the store to get some medicine for his sick wife in the middle of a snowstorm. When hes approached by 3 nazi supporters.
Hans: where are you going?
JM: Im going to the store to get medicine for my wife she's very...
Manfred: hey you dont look like one of us do you fella?
Turk: no he doesn't.
JM: No I assure you I am. Please let me go.
Page 18
Manfred grabs him by the collar and pins him against a streetlight. While Turk walks over.
Turk: let me see
Turk then uses a knife to cut open Joseph's jacket, which reveals a jewish badge.
Turk: So you thought you could pull one over on us kike?
JM: no i didn't..
Manfred: so you like to play games?
JM: no I...
Turk then stabs Joseph in the gut with the knife and the three continue to beat him up. After beating him manfred and Hans hold him up.
Turk: my grandmother always told me a kike that lies , deserves to never lie again.
Turk then shoves the blade into josephs mouth and begins to cut his mouth off of his face. The scene then goes back to present-day.
Page 19
BM: The United states took too long to intervene in the war. Had they done it sooner My wife and I wouldve never lost our lives.
Hans: what are you doing back?
BM: vengeance. against you, against America, against the world!
Hans: what did you did you do with Turk?
BM: I took care of him already. Now its just you..
Hans: please no...
All that could be heard from Hans was a yell. The scene changes to Carl in his friend Eric's basement to get repairs on his broken pendant.
Eric: So this blue guy randomly attacks you coming from school and took the gem?
Carl: Yeah. Weird isnt it.
Eric: really weird. Do you know what hes planning?
Carl: thats what worries me, I don't. But he did use the gem to absorb nuclear energy, not sure what for..
Eric: whatever it is its gotta be huge, nuclear energy is serious..
Eric then gets up to go in a drawer.
Eric: whatever you're gonna do youve gotta do it fast. He could be creating a bomb that can wipe out the entire city.
Page 20
Carl: Yeah I know. But I can't predict where he'll strike next.
Eric: You dont have to, just use common sense. Where is he gonna get the materials to build a nuclear bomb.
Carl thinks for a second.
Carl: the only people on earth that have nuclear weapons are the government.
Eric: exactly, so to make the bomb he's gonna have to go to a test site.
Carl: But that doesn't make sense, if he wanted a nuclear bomb, he'd just steal one, its gotta be something bigger.
Carl: The gem can absorb an unlimited amount of whatever energy the holder wants.
Eric: then hes probably making a bomb big enough to wipe out the country..
Carl: Right, but where would he be keeping a bomb that big?.
Eric: If I were hiding a bomb that big, it'd be somewhere no one would think to look, a place where there's no people for miles.
Eric then hands him back the newly-fixed pendant.
Eric: Find out where he's hiding it and you can stop him
Carl: Thanks Eric, I'll keep it in mind.
submitted by Karl_18 to ComicBookCollabs [link] [comments]

poker chip rack holder video

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poker chip rack holder

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